Arresting Tales

Carly Houston, your ride is here

When Arresting Tales was brand new, one of the first posts I wrote was titled "How much drinking is too much drinking?"  I used three real-life examples that might cause a drinker to consider the possibility that he has a "problem":

When drinking alcoholic beverages, have you ever:

a) Felt the overwhelming need to urinate in a potted plant inside the public lobby of a police station while the unlocked public restroom was less than 20 feet away?

b) Attempted to karate chop your elderly wife on the neck, then opened your colostomy bag and flung your own feces at her?

c) Rolled your legless, wheelchair-bound 79 year old father up a flight of steps in his wheelchair, by yourself, without strapping him into the chair and allowed him to fall down the stairs and break his neck?

Now I have another problem drinking metric to add to that list.  Here's my new question:

When drinking alcoholic beverages, have you ever become intoxicated to the point where you refuse to pay your cab driver, threaten your cabdriver, get arrested, and then call 911 from inside the police station to tell the dispatcher that you're trapped?

Carly Houston.jpg

Ms. Carly Houston can answer a resounding "yes" to that question.  Ms. Houston was arrested by the Naperville Police Department after celebrating a friend's birthday.  Hilarity ensued:

Operator: "Naperville 911, how may I help you?"

Houston: "Hi. I am in, like, I'm trapped in, like, the Naperville 911. So...."

Operator: "You're trapped where?"

Houston: "In the Naperville 911. So..."

Thanks to this article, you can listen to the call here.

Ms. Houston's mom is quoted in the article as saying that her poor daughter was just scared:

"She was terrified. She didn't know where she was. No one would come and help her," said her mother.  She claims Houston reached out for help the only way she knew how, and now, "It's just one more thing to drag her down."
It's always a bad sign when you're 30 years old, living at home, and your mom is explaining your arrest to the news media.

So that was the funny part.  Here's the sad part:

Five years ago, Houston went with her boyfriend to a Cubs rooftop party. He was intoxicated, fell off a narrow CTA platform and died. 



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irishpirate said:


While an amusing story, at least if you aren't this woman or related to her, this brings to mind the concept of "diversion".

At this point this woman needs mental health and/or addiction counseling a whole lot more than she needs a ride in the criminal justice system. Hopefully, she'll get the help she needs and take charge of her life.

Personally I prefer the life lessons from this story John Kass wrote about.,0,4414969.column

Once I escape custody I'll have to remember to stay off social media. I'll be like the Olympic bomber Eric Rudolph and live in the forest for years before being caught rummaging through a dumpster looking for my Twinkie or Hostess Ho Ho fix.

Mr. Brown Thumb said:


When I read this story the other day I couldn't stop laughing. Although, now that I read that her BF died while drunk it isn't so funny as sad.

chitownrules said:

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I think it's disgusting how much the media has covered this incident. Carly made a mistake...let it go. For this story to get this much attention shows how sad our society has become. I know Carly personally and she is a good person who made a simple mistake. My heart goes out to her. For those of you who think this is funny, think of how you would feel if this happened to you.

Joe the Cop said:


Chitown, If this happened to me I'd be ashamed, I'd expect to be a laughingstock, and I'd be looking for a 12-step program.

Thanks for commenting. We've all had our moments that we're not proud of, no doubt about it. My personal moment involved bourbon, dancing like a loon to Louis Prima on the jukebox, telling a coworker "pipe down, fatass" and being driven home. My saintly bride thought I'd suffered a head injury, because when the door opened and she called out to me I could only communicate in an incomprehensible series of grunts. I spent the next couple of days making amends. My alcohol-fueled moment notably did not involve 911 calls, fighting, threats or a police response.

That being said, Ms. Houston's conduct was unusual enough (epic fail, as my teenage daughter would say) to make her story newsworthy.

I offered her story(and those others I mentioned in the the form of questions) as examples of the kind of over-the-top drunken behavior that civilians find unbelievable. Police officers, on the other hand, encounter this type of behavior routinely.

irishpirate said:



"shame" is a glorious concept that the Irish are well acquainted with.

When it works correctly it keeps us from doing naughty things. When it doesn't work correctly we do naughty things and then hopefully learn from our experience. Because our family members remind us of those things at every available opportunity.

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