Bad elf fires first shot in this year's war on Christmas

"He has made some statements. They didn't make much sense..."

-Morrow, Georgia Police Captain James Callaway, commenting on the arrest of William C. Caldwell III.

Yes, friends, it's that time of year: time to start scanning the news for the latest Santa-related crime stories.  An alert reader sent this one my way.

Meet William C. Caldwell III.  Mr. Caldwell, who stands five feet tall and weighs 108 pounds, decided to get into the Christmas spirit by dressing up as an elf and capering down to Southlake Mall.  Once there he got in line to have his picture taken with Santa.

When he got to the front of the line, Mr. Caldwell announced that he had dynamite in his little elfin bag.  Santa alerted security, and the diminutive Mr. Caldwell was quickly subdued.  The mall was evacuated, the bomb squad called in, and the bag was revealed to be non-explosive.


Officials were quick to state that Mr. Caldwell is not affiliated in any way with Southlake Mall's holiday operations.  It is unknown if alcohol, methamphetamine or mental illness was a factor.