I'd like to thank everyone who has stopped by, and especially those of you who've taken the time to comment here. I've learned a lot, and I really enjoy our exchanges. I also want to thank the entire ChicagoNow community, but those frighteningly efficient, coffee-fueled, overachiers on the staff have already done that.
I got a lot to be thankful for. Sure, there's all the usual stuff you're supposed to be thankful for if you've got it--a beautiful and supportive family, health, a job, a roof over my head. What I'm talking about is being thankful for having a job that allows me to do some good occasionally. It doesn't happen much, but when it does it's a blessing. To me, being called to do work that others find difficult, dangerous or unpleasant is a gift, and I'm thankful for it. I've been honored to work with good men and women, and there's nothing so inspiring
as watching people rise to the occasion and do the shitty jobs that no
one else wants to do.
_______
That's
enough of that sentimental stuff. Let's get on with the real purpose
of this post, and that's to warn you all about the dangers of the
holiday.
My calendar year is marked by the unique safety threats posed by each holiday. July 4th is fireworks casualties, Halloween brings candy tampering and unsafe costumes,
and soon enough we'll be facing Christmas, with its space heaters,
malfunctioning decorative lights and horrible Christmas tree fires.
But tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and that means one thing: turkey fryer
disasters. According to the NFPA, Thanksgiving is the peak day for cooking fires.
My extensive research, backed by overwhelming anecdotal evidence in the
form of YouTube videos, newspaper clippings, and poorly-remembered
sensational TV segments that my mom tells me about, show that turkey
fryers are probably responsible for 97% of these fires.
It
struck me that operating a turkey fryer bears more than a passing
resemblance to running a clandestine meth lab. Both operations involve
open, unregulated burners, and the presence of volatile
liquids--bubbling hot oil in the case of the fryer, and substances like
ether, ammonia and tricloroethane in the meth lab. Both operations are
often located in spaces like garages, carports and sheds, and the
operators are frequently impaired.
So, finally, my Thanksgiving
gift to you. Because I believe strongly in promoting safety, I have
some public service announcements to help you have a safe and hopefully
conflagration-free Thanksgiving.
Important lessons: don't let a radio personality fry your turkey near
your sofa, don't let a firefighter cook your frozen turkey in an
overly-full fryer, and don't let your tweaked-out middle age parents
cook meth in your kitchen.
Unfortunately, I have to be at work for 4 hours today because the Stock Market is open til noon. Thanks for the very helpful but oh so funny tips.........
5 Comments
Skylers Dad said:
The radio DJ cackling like a little girl is what really makes that video.
Jim said:
You forgot to include one of the public service announcements that Fire Marshall Bill Yarrow used to do.
dude said:
Park your car on the street so when the garage burns down you'll still have your ride.
Joe the Cop said:
Dude, you're right--after all, you can live in your ride, but you can't drive your house.
Moshucat said:
Unfortunately, I have to be at work for 4 hours today because the Stock Market is open til noon. Thanks for the very helpful but oh so funny tips.........
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