Robert was arrested on September 17 by the Oak Brook Police Department, after alert patrol officer Michael Sikorski spotted him breaking into a tavern. Robert's accomplice, Walter Noah, scampered up a tree, while a police dog found Robert hiding nearby. English was also charged with a September 10 burglary at the same location.
Robert L. English is now the third subject with facial tattoos to be featured here at Arresting Tales. Alfred Benson appeared in June, and Michael "Tattoo" Knuth followed in July. Both Benson and Knuth were shot during their incidents, which led me to wonder if there's a connection between facial tattoos and gunplay.
I was disappointed when I saw that English was arrested without being shot. It messed with my hypothesis. Then I found another article describing the arrest, and I read this:
Identified by authorities by distinguishing marks, including his tattooed face and the bullet lodged in his head, English was arrested and charged with burglary for the Sept. 10 break-in.
"Bullet lodged in his head"?!
Two bullet-riddled, facially-tattooed men were the basis for a good theory, but three bullet-riddled, facially-tattooed men are indisputable scientific proof: having facial tattoos increases the probability that you will, at some point, catch a bullet.
If any sociologists with access to grant money and an expense account would like to discuss the possibility of future research, please leave your contact information in the comments.
11 Comments
jdroberts said:
What about neck tattoos? I always thought those were super classy.
Joe the Cop said:
jdl, thanks for stopping by and commenting! Yes, the joint-style neck tattoo is another look that says "I reject your society". You can see Mr. English looks like he's sporting a couple of those as well.
Skylers Dad said:
I believe it is some sort of magnetic principle, the ink has a property that attracts lead!
Moshucat said:
Ok Joe.......theory or not, looks promising but to ask for a study at taxpayers expense? That would be a waste of time and energy like the U of C study that spent thousand on researching why thugs wear white t's and dark pants. Can you answer that question? I knew before the doe was spent. The primary reason was to confuse identification of suspects....."can you give a description of the offender?" "Yeah, white t-shirt dark pants, white gym shoes." All that professor had to do was walk to the front door and look on any corner. Wasn't "rocket science".
Joe the Cop said:
Mosh, who said anything about taxpayer money? I was thinking more along the lines of a MacArthur genius grant. I figured I'd go for the corporate research money since they're all flush with bailout dollars now.
I got a laugh out of your white t-shirt study. Do you think someone also did one on dark hoodies?
Curmudgeon said:
Interestingly, when many Chicago public schools instituted uniform policies some years ago, guess what uniform they chose. Yup, white shirts over blue or black pants!
Moshucat said:
Hi Joe,
OK I got carried away with taxpayer money but grants for this non-sense and I would not be suprised if someone has done a study on Hoodies. :)
Brooklyn said:
Stupid article.
Joe the Cop said:
Brooklyn, what I'd like to know is, did you just decide the article was stupid now, or did you read in October and wait a few months before deciding it was stupid?
RickS said:
I know I'm a little late to the party, but I would like to submit an alternate hypothesis. Perhaps instead of the facial tattoo increasing the likelihood of being shot, as you suggest, it is more along the lines of people who are likely to be shot are more likely to have facial tattoos. In other words, the facial tattoo is just an indicator of more reckless behavior that is likely to cause a shooting.
So, a better hypothesis might be that people who are likely to be shot are more likely to have facial tattoos.
RickS said:
I forgot to check the checkbox to get emails, because I'm stupid, so now I have to create a new post, just so I know if and when Joe the Cop replies.
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