Recently a research firm conducted a survey for Match.com about the behavior of singles. They surveyed more than 5,000 men and women and I have to say that I found the results to be pretty interesting. Now, let me just say that I tend to be pretty skeptical of statistics. So I know that this doesn't mean that every woman or man out there does or doesn't feel this way but never the less, I found the findings to be interesting.
I have finished up the second week of the Date Night Challenge. My birthday was last weekend and there was a big party thrown in my honor. I also spent a lot of time with my mom before the big day because, well, I am her baby and that's what mom's like to do before their baby's big birthday. So that meant I didn't really have time for much dating and there's been a lack of awesome guys to date in my life lately.
A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to meet Sam Yagan, the CEO of OkCupid for breakfast. We had a pretty fantastic talk about dating, specifically online dating. Seems logical right? I mean what else would the CEO of an awesome dating site and a dating blogger talk about?
We talked a lot about OkCupid and other dating sites and he asked some of the things I like about OkCupid. Aside from the fact that I seem to find some amazing blogging fodder from the site (aka the DTF guy and the guy who offered me free pie), I also said that I like that there is an instant messaging service because I feel like you can weed out creepers without giving them personal information.
So the Date Night Challenge from 123Underwear.com is officially underway. Ever since my order arrived last week I have been extremely excited to actually wear what I chose. Yes, they sat in the box because I saved them for an actual date to wear them. After all, that is the point of the Date Night Challenge. Plus, I didn't want to let the newness wear off.
Technically the challenge was supposed to start with a coffee date this past Sunday but the date was rescheduled for last night. And it actually turned into drinks which seems more like a nighttime sort of thing anyway. Plus given all the other events of my weekend I didn't mind having an extra day.
Last week, at the ChicagoNow tweet up, I was talking with the lovely ladies from Chicago Hearts Trivia and the awesome Elliott from Geek To Me. I am not sure exactly how it came about (though I am pretty sure it had a little something to do with my trivia question) but somehow we ended up having a whole conversation about unfastening a woman's bra. That is, we had a whole conversation about how some men are painfully awful at it.
I've seen countless information on oral sex classes for women. Don't get me wrong here, I am not knocking these classes in anyway, because I see nothing wrong with them. Actually, I have never even been to this sort of class so I really can't offer my opinion either way. There is one thing that has me stumped though - where are the oral sex classes for men?
Anyway, we were discussing how some guys choose to approach me when they are "hitting" on me. He advised that I should be aware of my confidence and sexual aura (actually he flat out said to be careful how I use it). And also talked about how I blog about sex so maybe some guys get a certain idea about me.
I am not so sure how I feel about that. Actually, I entertained his ideas for a few moments and then thought to myself are you kidding me?
Cheating happens. Not that I am trying to say that I condone it or excuse it but the fact of the matter is that is happens. One thing that I really don't understand about cheating is why people do it. Actually, correction I do not understand why people do it and then go on and on about how much they love their significant other (and how happy the person makes them).
First things first, let's clear up the things that I understand.
I am going to make somewhat of a confession here - I have been known to enjoy watching an occasional porn or two. And honestly I am not saying that to shock anyone because I think it's a pretty normal and natural kind of thing. Porn can be a pretty fun and even a pretty useful sort of thing, but all too often I think it's easy to forget that porn was also created for entertainment purposes.
I have always been the woman that can totally separate sex from feelings. I understand that people you are having sex with don't always care about you and that you don't always have sex with people you care about. Let's all be honest here, no matter how bad it might sound, sometimes people are just there for simple pleasure. It might be wonderfully blissful mind blowing pleasure, but never the less, it's just pleasure. I also understand that sometimes the line between sex and feelings can get a little blurry which is something that has caused me a little trouble in the past.
There was once a guy that I had this insane crush on but it became evident to me that the feeling was not mutual so I pretty much closed the door on the idea of dating him. As we spent more time together, we managed to become awesome friends. Until one night we engaged in a pretty heavy make out session that turned into two years of fooling around during which I took his virginity.
A little over a week ago I wrote a post about how I was contemplating a summer fling. It was pretty much a unanimous vote amongst my readers and followers on Twitter so I decided that I should do it. Since everyone has been asking for updates I thought I would give everyone a few little details on what's been happening.
It's really no secret that I meet guys off the internet, therefore it's not all that shocking that I also give one my number from time to time. Honestly, I have to say that I am not overly excited when I give a guy my number only to have him text me in return. Call me crazy, but I think if you ask for my phone number then you should just pick up the phone and actually call me. However, it's not really a total deal breaker so I tend to just let it slide.
Texting with a new guy generally starts out pretty simple with questions about my day or what I am doing that weekend and so on. This is all fine and dandy to me. However, sometimes the personal questions start to slowly creep in and he's all interested in my favorite position and the craziest place I have had sex. Then, the conversation totally takes an even bigger turn and next thing you know he's talking about how horny he is and asking if I would like to help him out. Followed by a very through and explicit description of all the things he wants to do to me. And all I am left thinking is how did this happen? How did we get from talking about going to see my sister to you asking if I'd like to see a picture of your penis?
Honestly, I would like to say that I have some grand explanation for it but the truth is that things between me and the younger fellas just don't tend to work all that well. Nevertheless, I can't deny that some of these younger dudes are super hot which makes flirting with them a whole lot of fun (that is up until the point when they start annoying the crap out of me). And I should also confess that I find myself salivating far more than any grown woman should ever admit, over many guys this age during my commute to and from work each day on the bus (if you follow me on Twitter, you have seen my highly inappropriate tweets on this subject).
The past couple of weeks I have had some of my favorite male bloggers talk about dating rules. Well this week Matt is throwing a different spin into the mix with some talk about the one night stand. Matt is the editor of LoveintheDumps.com, a dating/relationship comedy collective, and the upcoming Impersonals, a dating site parody.
Will someone please tell me what the deal is with 22-year-old guys? Seriously, their approach to picking up women (mainly older women) just flat out sucks.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not overly fond of guys that are younger than I am (actually I am not overly fond of guys my age either). I tend to be into those that are more in the 32 to 35 age range - with an even bigger preference for those that are even older. Honestly I have no idea why this is; it's just how I have always been. Clearly I would love to say it's because I have better luck with older guys, but I am not really sure if I can say that.
Point being that there is a pretty big age difference between 22 and 32, especially in man years. So yes, I get that it's an age thing. Though, it's something that seems to be a trend which makes me wonder. And I mean, even if it is a 22-year-old is it too hard to ask for a little respect here?
A little while ago a friend wanted to fix me up with another friend and all the guy could talk about was having me over to his place. And he wasn't talking about cooking me a little dinner and playing some trivia on the Wii (read that as he just wanted to have sex with me). I guess he's had an issue with some women that are just too attached after the first date. So he's not to keen on the whole date thing. Apparently now he is punishing all women, including me.
This is not the first time I have been in this kind of situation.
Whenever a guy asks me what my type is I always answer that I don't have one because honestly I am not sure if I do. I tend to not get caught up in labels and honestly I want to focus on getting to know a person rather than worrying about what "type" he is. However, I have started to notice something lately. Even though I date a variety of guys they all seem to have one thing in common with each other - they're unavailable.
It went a little something like this (I didn't change this conversation and I am really sorry it's so long, but as you will see I needed to include it all):
Relationships are tricky and generally, what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. Let's face it, dating will never be that cut and dry. Which is why I am a firm believer that people should define their own relationships. There are, however, certain core ideas that make up different kinds of relationships that are usually the same across the board. After many conversations with various people I have met, I have realized that many people really don't know the difference between these types of relationships
Sex on the first date. This really isn't breaking news here. I mean, there is really nothing new about this dilemma. While obviously I don't know for sure, I am pretty sure it's been around since the whole concept of dating was invented.
Every dating book that I have ever read that talks about sex on the first date says it's a bad idea. Many guys I have talked to/dated say it's a bad idea. I would say it seems as though the consensus is that it's a bad idea.
Here's the kicker to the whole thing. It took firefighters seven hours to actually get the penis out of the pipe. Apparently it had become too aroused from lack of blood flow. Sounds like a pretty tricky situation to me. The penis ended up with a few bumps and bruises but is otherwise fine. At least the story has a happy ending, right?
When you are dating guys over say the age of 25, it is inevitable that they have been on a date or two. Which also makes it pretty inevitable that they have kissed a girl and probably done all that sexual stuff too. Now, I am sure there is a 29-year-old out there somewhere that hasn't really been on a date with a woman. However, most of them have been around the block one or twice (some of them more times then they care to admit).
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my examiner friend Michele Gwynn who was asking all the ladies out there to participate in the Name the Penis Contest.
The winner was announced last week. Click here to find out.
According to a recent study women who show 40 percent of their skin are more likely to attract a man. This shouldn't seem all that shocking since men are visual people who appreciate seeing a little skin on a woman. Though, I will admit that I feel like 40 percent is kind of a lot. I mean that is close to half of my body.
The study counted each arm for 10 percent and then each leg was 15 percent, the torso was the remaining 50 percent (apparently your head doesn't really count at all here). If you wear a dress, essentially you have your 40 percent right there. So really, I guess that doesn't seem all that bad.
Be careful though ladies, because apparently if you show more then your 40 percent that will actually turn a man off. Apparently when you reveal too much it makes a man suspect that you are unfaithful. Yes, that's right, too much skin makes a man think you are one cheating floozy. Talk about stereotypes. Clearly I get that if you show too much skin that you can give off a slutty vibe. However, I don't think that's really an indication that you cheat.
I also have to say that we live in Chicago and I am not really sure how well this whole percentage theory stacks up against the winter here. Sorry guys, but hanging my 40 percent out when it's 30 below zero is not really my idea of fun. So I think I would have to save that for a night in. Hopefully you can cut me a little slack there.
Gallery sneak peek (6 images):View the gallery...
If you've heard the song "Whatever You Like" by T.I. then you definitely need to check out this version by Anya Marina.I have to say, I find this version to be even better then the original. However, I should add that just hearing the song doesn't do it justice. You have to also take a look at the video, which I nicely found on YouTube and have provided for your entertainment. It is a little bit of humor and sexy all wrapped up into one, which equals just plain awesome. I definitely give it two thumbs up. (If you haven't heard the original, check it out here.)
Last night, I had a phone conversation with a man that I had been chatting with on OKCupid. I have to say that I was slightly amused by the conversation, though I don't think it was the kind of amusement that most people are looking for to make a good first impression. Coincidentally, this is why I recommend a phone conversation or two before you actually meet in person.
Have you ever noticed how amusing men find it to name their little buddy down there?
My friend Michele Gwynn who is the San Antonio Sex and Relationships Examiner for examiner.com and Kat McCarty, of "Thing of it is" blog, are sponsoring a Name That Penis Contest. One lucky winner will win a fantastic sexy gift basket.
I am inviting all you Chicago ladies out there to join in the fun. Click here to find out more information about the contest including how you can enter to be the winner.
If you want to see some of the great reasons why men think of these names, check out Michele's article here.
Generally, I feel that you should go with the flow and do what feels right when on a date. Though, as a woman, sometimes I feel that there is a fine line between whats fun and what is just way too slutty. Which means there are things that maybe you shouldn't do on a first date. Back up for a second, there might be certain things you shouldn't do on a first date if you want a second date.