All The Single Ladies

Break ups Archives

Guest Post: A little something about decorum

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Today I have an awesome guest post from my dear friend Dave Sorrell, also known as @rookiephenom on Twitter. I really love guest posts from guys because sometimes (or always) it's nice to get a little perspective from them. Now, we all know that I don't think there every guy feels the exact same way about things, but still it's nice to get their perspective.  Anyway, here he is talking about a little something called decorum.

 

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Single Woman TV: Breaking up during the holidays

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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Breaking up sucks. There is really no other way to put it other than that. Actually, I am pretty sure that I have said it once or twice so I am sorry if it sounds like I am repeating myself.

Breaking up also sucks around the holidays because, well, it's a little difficult to know exactly how to handle it. Should you stick around to make it through the holidays or is it better to just end it?

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The BreakUP Club

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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Break ups suck. I honestly tried to think of a really clever and creative way to word that, but let's face it there isn't one. Even if you see it coming. Even if you are the person who is ending the relationship. Even if you know there is not a shot at the relationship working. It doesn't matter, a break up is no fun at all.

That's why I am really excited to share a new project that Tristan Coopersmith (one of my favorite relationship coaches) is starting. The project is called the BreakUP Club and the idea is to turn a break up into something positive. It's a place where women can come together to get over a crappy break up in a very positive way.

Anyone who knows me can attest that I am far too positive for my own good so I am definitely a fan of this. Actually I am a little jealous I didn't think of it myself.

The BreakUP Club is offering a free workshop if you are in Los Angeles. Here are the details:

BreakUP Club Introductory Event
October 12, 2010
7:00pm-8:30pm
Blank Spaces
5405 Wilshire Blvd (b/w La Brea Blvd & Hauser Blvd)
Los Angeles, CA 90036

Just be honest already

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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Apparently things aren't going to work out exactly the way that I thought with Mr. Google. I know that generally things don't work out the way you plan them and that's not always a bad thing. Life is full of surprises and some of them are fantastically pleasant. But no matter how aware you are that things can go bad, it's still disheartening when it actually happens. Actually, it pretty much sucks.

I am honestly not even sure where to start. It's just one of those things where I thought things were going one way but turns out they were going in the complete opposite direction.

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When the ex comes back around, part 3

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

side profile of a young man arguing with a young woman

I last left off (once again) with my story about Mr. BST. This time I left in the midst of our text conversation where he had asked how I would feel if he came to Chicago to see me and things were physical. And by physical I mean sex or at least a whole lot of sexually related things.

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When the ex comes back around, part 2

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Young Man with Cell Phone

When I last left off I confessed that I responded to Mr. BST's text. I kind of feel that before I can really go into my response and all of the events over the past few days that I need to explain exactly what happened when I first met Mr. BST. That is, the important parts anyway (it's kind of a long story). It's pretty important to understand my frustration with this whole situation and why I feel it is necessary to shut him out of my life.

As I said before I met Mr. BST seven or eight years ago. We met and dated for a few weeks until one day he told me he wasn't ready for a serious relationship but wanted to be friends (lamest excuse in the book, I know).

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When the ex comes back around, Part 1

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Man outside window

A couple of nights ago, I was enjoying a few moments of couch time when I received a text. I looked at my phone to see who it was from and I was a little shocked. The text read "hey what's up it's Mr. BST." It took a few minutes to actually sink in and, honestly, I'm not sure if I can pinpoint what I felt at that very moment. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. Curiosity. Far too many emotions.

Mr. BST was my first love. I guess you could call him my ex though I have to use that term pretty loosely here because I'm not really sure what he is or ever was. But the important thing to know here is that somewhere in whatever we were (or weren't) doing we fell in love. Utterly, madly, hopelessly in love.

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Woman calls off wedding and refuses to return the ring

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Young Woman Displaying Diamond Ring
The other day I stumbled on an interesting article on Powder Room Talk which talked about what you should do with the ring when calling off an engagement. The article stemmed from a news story about t a woman, named Colette Dipierro from Staten Island, who refused to return a $17,500 ring to her ex-fiance after calling off the wedding.
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It's not giving up it's just moving on

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Man sitting in back of van holding cup, low section

Anyone who knows me will tell you I am a pretty impatient person, I always have been. I am the type of person who likes to get things done and I always go after what I want. It's part of what brought me to the city - I need the hustle, the noise and all it's craziness. These are things that just seem natural to me, it's who I am. Sometimes I wonder, though, if it makes me give up too easily.

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Apparently even crazy comes in threes

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Hand making three sign

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about third dates. I have noticed a pattern with the guys I date. And then I had a conversation earlier with a woman I know about how relationship milestones come in threes.

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Breaking up is hard to do, but just do it already

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Sad Woman Turning Away from Man

I had a conversation with a friend the other day who was about to end things with a girl he was seeing. He said he wasn't really sure how to do it and that the whole situation was making him feel like a total ass. Which we all know really made me think and thinking leads to writing and here we are.

So, tell me something here. Why is it that guys feel like such an ass when breaking up with a woman?

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Just because he's ending it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Man and Woman Talking in Cafe

Break-ups are tough. No one really likes to hear that someone they like doesn't want to date them especially when you think things have been going just fine. So why is it that when we are getting dumped that we tend to make things even harder on ourselves by picking at all of our little flaws?

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Why women shouldn't jump to conclusions...

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

I found this the other day on YouTube. Now, I have to say that I am not entirely sure if it's real. Though I also have to say that I have known women like this so it wouldn't shock me if this did actually happen. It's a great example of why women shouldn't jump to conclusions. You know the whole idea that if a guy doesn't call you at a certain time then he must not be interested, a jerk, or any other insult you can think of (something that I will talk more about later).

Is it strange that he didn't call her on his trip? Probably.

However, I will say that I would think that if you hadn't heard from your boyfriend in a few days you would be more worried about his safety and well being (you know, being his girlfriend and all). Which is why this is quite entertaining and why I say women should be careful when they automatically assume a guy is a jerk.

Sorry it's a bit long. It's highly entertaining, I promise.

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I really appreciate that you like me

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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A little while ago I sort of put my feelings out there for a guy by telling him that I was interested in him. His response? "I really appreciate that." Ouch thanks douche bag really. I mean generally I am not an advocate for that whole no response thing, but clearly in this case I would have rather had that. If you can't be honest then why even bother? Why are guys such wussies when it comes to telling a woman they are just not that into her?

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Just wanted to catch up and by the way I'm engaged

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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The other day I met up with a guy I know at Delilah's. We had a few beers and ended up swapping a few crazy dating stories. Lately, I have noticed that as I have started writing about single life more and more people have started sharing their stories with me (especially guys). This is definitely a great thing and I am by no means complaining. I enjoy listening to other people's stories and it is part of the reason I started writing in the first place. Plus, it makes for great conversation as well.

 

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Breaking up is hard to do...Especially when you are at dinner

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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Photo courtesy of cbs.com

I was doing some channel surfing when I caught a couple minutes of The New Adventures of Old Christine. One of the characters, Richard, had apparently started dating a girl who he felt was a little crazy and he decided to end it. Moments later, the couple was sitting at dinner when he started with the whole "we need to talk" speech.

 

 

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