All The Single Ladies

« Does it even matter if there Catch My Boys on TBS »

Just be honest already

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Thumbnail image for Thumbs down.jpg

Apparently things aren't going to work out exactly the way that I thought with Mr. Google. I know that generally things don't work out the way you plan them and that's not always a bad thing. Life is full of surprises and some of them are fantastically pleasant. But no matter how aware you are that things can go bad, it's still disheartening when it actually happens. Actually, it pretty much sucks.

I am honestly not even sure where to start. It's just one of those things where I thought things were going one way but turns out they were going in the complete opposite direction.

We all know that I had a great date with Mr. Google sometime ago. If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I mention him from time to time, translation we've talked a lot since that great date. We all also know that Mr. Google does not even live in the same state as I do, which obviously creates an obstacle.

Now, we weren't dating and I know that, I truly do. After all, dating is usually something that you do with a person you are actually seeing, right? But I had the impression we were kind of exploring. I mean we openly liked each other and were starting to care about each other. We talked a lot and shared what was going on in our lives. Hell we even started to miss each other and threw out a few pet names. Oh and there were also conversations that I don't have with people I am just friends with (if you catch my drift).

You know the saying, if it looks like it and talks like it then it probably is...and surely that all seemed like it was something. I liked him and truth be told he was the first guy in a really long time that I actually felt like I wanted to date.

Anyway we talked everyday via text, phone, or instant messenger - someway, somehow we talked. Then suddenly his texts became a little less frequent and then I realized that I was the main one starting all of the conversations.

So I flat out asked him if he still liked me. Side note here - I am not sure if that was a fantastic move. It was a bold move, but not still I am not sure it was fantastic. I'd just much rather ask than sit here and wonder. His response was of course he still liked me but he's been busy and he was backing off because he can't do distance.

I was slightly confused and felt like we were on a totally different page. He had never mentioned before that he couldn't do distance and our conversations led me to believe that he was fine with the idea. We talked about him coming to visit and me going there. Actually he repeatedly mentioned how he was going to use his vacation to see me. He also mentioned a few times how much he thought distance sucked.

So he said he still liked me but was backing off. I said apparently we weren't on the same page. He said he was driving and would text me later. That was last Wednesday - I guess his definition of later is a litter different from mine. Oh, actually he did send me a text the following day mentioning something about how I was back at work. Which actually pretty much confirmed that he had no interest in taking that conversation any further.

Now that conversation doesn't really mean all that much to me anymore. I feel like he wasn't honest with he's not being honest with me. You can't go from liking a person the way he claimed to like me to suddenly not talking to them anymore but still like them. I mean that just doesn't make any sense at all. And if we weren't involved in some kind of something then why would distance suck? What would there even be distance from?

So either Mr. Google lost interest in me or he was never really interested in the first place which makes him guilty of being the too much too soon guy. And yes I have entertained the idea that maybe his plan to move to Chicago wasn't working out the way he planned. It could also be that the whole idea of a long distance thing truly freaked him out - it's not for everyone. But he should have just come out and said all of that. Don't just fade away slowly and make me come and ask you what's wrong. That's annoying. It's cowardly. Frankly, it's really fucking lame.

If you have a change of heart then you need to be honest about it. I'm not saying I'd be overly excited about it but it's a whole lot better (and I am a firm believer in honesty). Say something like "hey I really like you but things aren't going to work out the way I planned so it's not fair to continue down a path where one or both of us might end up getting hurt."

I am not saying I need any kind of royal treatment here. It's just a matter of respect and honesty. And if you care about a person, shouldn't those things be important?



Recent Posts



EllP said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

O-M-G I totally know what you mean! Imagine someone declaring them your boyfriend (and you their gf) and then doing the slow fade and then disappearing. Yes, he was a "too much too soon" guy.

Jessica Downey said:


That's terrible! Actually, I have had that happen too. I once dated a guy who called me his girlfriend. Talked about how awesome I was and even referred to me as marriage material. Then he fell off the planet. Seriously, why do people do stuff like that? Too much too soon, definitely.

Leave a Comment?

Some HTML is permitted: a, strong, em

What your comment will look like:


what will you say?

Most Active Pages Right Now on Facebook

All The Single Ladies on Facebook