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A relationship should be 50/50

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

close up side view of young man and young woman sharing drink
The other day I was having a conversation with a friend about relationships. I am not sure exactly what I said, but something made him mention that he felt the man should be the dominant one in the relationship. This kind of caught me off guard and I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or cute and clever. Turns out that is the way that he genuinely feels and I am not really sure why but that just seems a little strange to me.

Clearly I know that there are plenty of people that feel that way (I mean, there is right?); it's just not often that I find a guy around my age in the year 2010 that actually verbalizes it in such a way. I don't want to totally bash the idea because I truly believe in the whole idea of to each his own but honestly I really don't think that I could ever be in that kind of a relationship.

It's really not a case of a women's lib kind of thing (though I am woman, hear me roar) or a case where I feel women should be dominant. I just feel that a relationship is a partnership and therefore your significant other should be your partner. That, to me, means you're equal and you're both giving 50/50. In other words neither sex is better than the other.

I don't think there is a specific formula on how this all has to work - it's really dependant on the couple. Also, I am not really a fan of gender roles because I honestly believe that you enjoy what you enjoy (and you are good at what you are good at). And I don't think that has anything to do with being a man or a woman.

When I say 50/50 I don't mean the woman does the "womanly" chores and the man does the "manly" chores. I really just mean that each person is pulling their weight in order to make the relationship a happy one. So, it could be that one person really likes cooking and then maybe the other person does the dishes.

When it comes to decisions, especially decisions that affect both people, then you make them together. There isn't one sex who has more authority or who gets the final say on how things go.

Clearly I am not saying that it's that cut and dry and obviously I know it takes some work to find what works for both people which is key for me - both people should be involved. And I am not sure how that makes sense when the man (or either sex for that matter) is dominant.




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1 Comment

Something She Dated said:


I really like the idea of exploring this (though technically because I'm guessing I might actually be more like your friend than this one aspect...and only in relation to me...not so much for other people's relationship)...but either way...I'd need to know more about what he meant by dominant to really give my two cents (which I'm sure the world is always dying to hear, waiting with baited breath and all that lol!) to your friend again...get specifics and report back. Please :P

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