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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Lovers Undressing

I am going to make somewhat of a confession here - I have been known to enjoy watching an occasional porn or two. And honestly I am not saying that to shock anyone because I think it's a pretty normal and natural kind of thing. Porn can be a pretty fun and even a pretty useful sort of thing, but all too often I think it's easy to forget that porn was also created for entertainment purposes.

It's a pretty common thing to look to music, movies or books when you want to be entertained. Watching movies or television shows often invoke many of our senses. We laugh, cry, get a little angry and feel excited to see what happens next.

Sure people might have a fantastic story to tell or they might love the art of making movies, I won't argue there. But if the story you are telling isn't interesting (also known as entertaining) then no one will want to watch it. And if no one is watching it, well then there really isn't a point in making a movie.

Now sure, there are movies about true stories though generally they are based on true stories meaning the real story was used as a guideline. There is also that thing they call reality television but we all know that they embellish the stories or choose the most entertaining and controversial characters to provide entertainment.

Porn is really no different, we look to it for entertainment and that is why it is made. Clearly, it does it in a different way but still the general idea is the same. Don't get me wrong here, I am not knocking porn at all and watching is isn't a bad thing at all. Actually, I am pretty impressed at some of the things that men and women can do, really. But still keep in mind that it's entertainment and people are getting paid to play a certain part and act a certain way.

And yes, I realize that there are homemade porn movies made as well. But keep in mind that if you are watching it then it's likely it still has some kind of an entertainment element. Think of it as the same thing as watching reality television versus a sitcom.

Porn is not some kind of a map for sex and it's definitely not an accurate portrayal on how it all goes down. I am a human being, not an actress and my livelihood does not depend on what I do in the bedroom.

Sex can be awkward at times. Even if you have been with the same person many times before sometimes things just don't work right or fit together perfectly. I don't have the best sex of my life every time I have sex, sometimes it's bad no matter how hot a guy is (or how big his penis is). Sometimes it takes a little bit to turn me on or to get me off.

Every person is different. Touching one person one way might not necessarily work on another person. The same is true for positions or really anything else to do with sex. So just because you saw some awesome move that drove a woman wild in a porn doesn't mean that it's going to work on every other woman you meet. And yes, the same is true for things that work on men as well.

I believe in trying (almost) everything once but there are some things that I'm just not going to like. And just because every woman has loved it in every porn you have ever watched doesn't mean I am going to love it. Instead of looking to porn to find out what someone likes you should actually try exploring things with them. After all, that is really the only way to find out what truly brings pleasure to another human being.

Obviously I am not out to ruin the whole porn experience here. We have established that I am a fan and see nothing wrong with it and I think it definitely serves it's purpose as entertainment. But the fact of the matter is you may never find a woman (or a man) that has sex the way people do in a porn. However, even if someone isn't doing all the crazy things you see on the screen to please you, when pleasure is real (that means no acting at all, but truly real and felt to the to the depths of your core) that is when sex is truly the best. And let's face it, porn has nothing on that.

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8 Comments

Crown said:

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Sometimes sex isn't about connecting with someone to the core, experimenting together or sharing an experience so deep that you can feel the other person breathe. Sometimes sex is about taking on roles, getting away from your normal personality traits, getting frustration out, or just plain using someone a bit. For the latter occassions, I have found playing out a few porn scenes I've watched here and there hasn't hurt anyone. It's created some of my most memorable sexual experiences and I've found women like a little humility from time to time.

Jessica Downey said:

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Wow you took it to a whole different level. Sure, sex isn't always about connecting on that level. And there is nothing wrong with throwing in some new moves once in a while. But, sex is still not like what you see in porn.

Crown said:

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Why can't sex be like what you see in porn?

Jessica Downey said:

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I think you missed the point of the post. I am not saying anything about trying new things, new positions, etc. I am also not saying you can’t act out a scene from a porn. I am just saying porn is not real, it’s acting and there are things about it that are thrown in for entertainment purposes. Think about it, do you model any other aspect of your life after a movie??

Crown said:

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So, your point is that porn is acting and therefore should be distinguished from real-life sex?

I don't model my sex life based on porn; but trying some of the things I've seen and heard that you state are thrown in for entertainment purposes has resulted in some of the best sex of my life.

The physical aspect of porn is undeniably real; that is not fake sex you're watching. I believe porn can have more of a real-life impact on everday people's sex lives than you think. For example, porn dialogue can teach people to be more uninhibited and speak up as to their real primal sexual desires. This can be just as important as feeling the sex to the depths of one's core.

For claiming to be so open-minded, you have really shut down the positive applications that porn can have on people's sex lives.

Jessica Downey said:

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Again, you missed the point of this post. Again, I am not saying people cannot act out things they see in porn and so on. I also didn’t say that you can’t get anything positive from porn. The point I am making here is that people need to be realistic. It’s problematic when people see things in porn and then assume that is the way sex is going to be. That is not always the case. It’s so important to explore the person that you are with and figure out what they like (and that might be entirely different from what you see in porn). If you are going to question how open-minded I am, please make sure you read what I actually have to say.

Crown said:

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I read the whole post and the only thing that is clear is that you watch porn sometimes.

nandoism said:

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rock on sister! it's nice to meet a confident chick that like porn!

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