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So why be in a relationship if you're happy being single?

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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The other day I was having that whole "get to know you" conversation with a new guy. We chatted about various things and the subject of writing came up which of course led to the topic of this blog. Then, somehow, I was faced with the question about why I would want a relationship when I was content with my status as a single woman.

Essentially I guess the guy was not expecting to find out I write about dating and single life. Then of course he felt I wasn't a woman who would really be interested in a relationship since that could alter the subject of my blog. I told him that I am definitely open in having a relationship and I will handle things as they come. This seemed to settle him but then he listened to me on the radio. Apparently something I said made it very obvious to him that I was happy being single and it made him wonder why I would want to change anything if I was happy.

First things first, I wasn't ever really aware that I had to choose between being single or being in a relationship. I guess I always thought a person could be equally happy with either part of life. Second of all, I have never been the type to get into that whole "looking for a relationship" label. Actually I hate most labels altogether. Don't get me wrong, I am totally open to a relationship but I just feel that when you worry so much about that label that's all you can focus on and you might miss out on some really great things. Sometimes guys just make really good friends and sometimes they are really just fun to make out with.

Sure for a moment I guess I can entertain that maybe he did have a valid question. I mean if a person is happy it seems only logical that they wouldn't want to change right? However, life isn't really that black and white. Change isn't always about being unhappy sometimes new things are just thrown our way.

And why is there this idea that single people shouldn't be happy? Frankly I kind of hate that idea (actually it sucks). I mean should I just sit in my apartment and cry because I don't have a boyfriend? Because clearly every guy wants to date the woman who hysterically cries alone in her apartment every night.

Here is the thing. I am content being single because that is where my life is right now and I prefer to live my life rather than being caught up in what I don't have. I don't really think either status is any better than the other they are just different.



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dazediva said:


I think you hit the nail on the spot hun !!

"I am content being single because that is where my life is right now and I prefer to live my life rather than being caught up in what I don't have."

I love this ! It's so true. I've been single about 3 years now; I've had my share of fun during this time but haven't met anyone that bowled me over.

Just because one is single doesn't mean they are not happy; the same way just because one is in a relationship doesn't make them 100% happy either. Both statuses are stages in peoples lives and they should just accept it and be happy with what they have rather than try to seek happiness in something they don't have.

Jessica Downey said:


Thank you so much! I am such a firm believer in that. Life is just too short. And I think so many people get really caught up in the whole single vs. married thing. It's not like its a war, both stages are important in life.

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