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Sitting on my couch is not a date

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Destroyed couch

I've had a epiphany this week. Actually, back up for a second. Technically I have been thinking about this for a while, I just feel like it was fully confirmed this week. If you read my blog, you know that I am pretty open minded when it comes to dating and by no means am I a prissy princessy kind of girl. I have to be honest here though guys, sitting on my couch (or your couch) is not a date. Really, it's not.

Now, before you get all crazy on me, let me explain. I am not saying that every date we go on has to be some super amazingly extravagant date. We do not need to go to five-star restaurants or expensive Broadway shows. Really, I am not expecting the royal/celebrity kind of treatment here.

I also realize there are times when a couch date can be fun and even a little romantic. Invite me over to snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie. Sometimes we can just cook dinner at your place (or mine) or order some takeout. Clearly I definitely understand there are times that you just don't feel like going out especially if we are seeing each other a few times a week. That is perfectly fine, I promise.

There are times though, that this whole sitting on your couch thing just really isn't acceptable. And I feel like there are some guys out there that are getting a little confused.

If we have never actually met in person before. Please do not think it's cute and clever if we have been talking on OkCupid (or any other dating site) and you ask me to come over to your place for an in person meeting. Honestly, it's really just lame and borders on creepy. No, I am not afraid you will chop me into little pieces (though I know that can happen) nor am I afraid you will take advantage of me (again I know that can happen). Frankly, I just don't get why it's so hard to meet me for a couple of drinks or some coffee, which in turn makes me wonder other things (read that as I see a big red flag).

Side note here. I get that there are guys that aren't really looking for women to date, hence the whole trying to get me to come over thing. Those are not the guys I am referring to here. I am talking about the guys that actually propose this as a first meeting like it's a date. Trust me, it happens.

If the only thing we ever do together is sit on your (or my) couch. It's one thing to have a few dates on the couch (we already established that's totally cool). However, it's an entirely different thing when you don't ever go out in public together. That, my friends, is not dating no matter how much you create the "romantic" mood. Again you do not have to take me on extravagant dates, but some time in public is pretty standard. Otherwise I am just going to think you are really lame or don't want to be seen in public with me. Neither of which is a really great scenario for you.

Sure, there are exceptions to everything so if some guy has something wrong with him, like a disease that makes him totally immobile, then obviously that is a different story.

The fact of the matter is that going out on a date has nothing to do with treating me like a princess or a queen (or any other royalties). It all just boils down to the fact that if you like a girl (or want to see if you will like a girl) you should want to go out on a date. After all, that is why they call it dating right? Seems pretty logical to me.

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