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I'm bored so do you want to go out?

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Bored man waiting at table in restaurant

We've established that some guys need to learn what a date really is (and also a better place to meet women off the internet). Well, I kind of feel like we need to go into this whole asking a girl out on a date thing. I am just going to get straight to the point here, the words "I'm bored" should never be followed by "would you like to meet" (or any other derivative of that).

First off, everyone knows that I am a big fan of exceptions and firmly believe that there is one to almost anything in life. So if you are dating a guy and hanging out on a Sunday afternoon and he says to you "honey I am bored, let's go do something today" then that is a totally different story here. Obviously I am not talking about that situation at all.

No, what I am talking about is when you are chatting with a guy from the internet and he busts out with the sob story about how he's so incredibly bored and then asks what you are doing later. This is not something that is exclusive to just internet guys either, I have had in happen with people I know in real life as well. You give him your number and then a few days later he's all "hey baby I am bored tonight, what's going on with you?". Not cool guys, really not cool at all.

Here's the thing, generally when it comes to the internet I like to meet guys that pique my interest. Call me crazy, but I kind of like that feeling to be mutual. Likewise, if I give you my number in person it's likely that I am interested in doing something to get to know a little more about you. So again, I'd like that feeling to be mutual. If you are calling me out of boredom that doesn't really make it seem like you are all that excited or interested in much of anything about me. Actually, it kind of makes it sound like all your other friends were busy so you though what the hell I will call Jess and see what she's up to. And frankly, that leaves a pretty shitty impression and it's pretty lame.

Actually to be technical it kind of makes me think one of two things here:

  1. You are just scrolling through the old cell phone. The letter J is kind of early in the alphabet so it's possible that you called A-I and no one was free. I get that, really. And I mean, thank god I am not a Y or a Z. But still, give me a break here.
  2. You are trolling the internet to meet a chick, any chick. For some people hanging with the buddies just won't do, but they really need a little female attention (yes, it's true guys do it too). So you hop on the internet and start sending out mass messages/IM's to any girl that "will do" on the internet to see what you can find. And of course that raises the question if you're maybe just looking for sex which is a whole other blog.

We have established that I am not a princess so I am not expecting any sort of royal treatment nor am I expecting any guy roll out the red carpet for me. I am not asking for anyone to make a big deal out of asking me out - there is no need to send one of those crazy dancing telegram people (though that would be kind of cool). Seriously though, just a simple "hey I'd like to meet for drinks to get to know you a little better" will do, I promise.

And I get that some guys like to play it cool and apparently to them admitting they might like a woman is so not cool. Though really, lots of guys like women so really what makes it so cool to pretend you don't? I also get that sometimes you aren't sure about labeling it as a date because some women tend to get a little too involved in that (which coincidentally is something I will talk more about later). But then again, asking me out for a few drinks isn't really a marriage proposal so get over it.

Again, it's not about this so-called royal treatment. Honestly, I just believe that if you are interested then your actions should reflect that. One of the greatest guys I know always tells me to never forget that it's all about actions, not what a guy says. And I don't really think that's too much to ask.




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