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It's not giving up it's just moving on

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Man sitting in back of van holding cup, low section

Anyone who knows me will tell you I am a pretty impatient person, I always have been. I am the type of person who likes to get things done and I always go after what I want. It's part of what brought me to the city - I need the hustle, the noise and all it's craziness. These are things that just seem natural to me, it's who I am. Sometimes I wonder, though, if it makes me give up too easily.

Now, when I say give up I don't mean to contradict myself here. When it comes to things that I personally can achieve I go after them and don't stop until it happens. However, with other people it's just not that simple because you have to depend on someone else to do their part. Single life has been good for me and good to me. Honestly I love my life as a single girl, though ultimately I would like to meet someone who I am crazy for which is why I continue to date.

Generally when I first meet a guy he calls me, texts me and we make plans to go out. That is, after all, what dating should look like right?

However, I have noticed that for some guys the more they get to know a woman the less frequent these things become. And I don't necessarily mean it's always in a he's just not that into you kind of way but sometimes in the I am comfortable and don't need to impress you kind of way. Honestly, I completely and utterly hate this kind of thing. I have never nor will I ever understand this kind of behavior from guys. Which consequently this makes me start to lose interest. As it continues to happen I lose more interest and I am pretty sure that you see where this is going.

Sure, I know that I could casually mention something to the guy. Though I mean who really wants to be the nagging chick that has to tell a guy to call her or spend time with her. I did not sign up for that and I don't ever want to play that part. Plus I don't want to have to beg a guy to do these things, I want him to want to do these things on his own.

Call me crazy, but I want a guy who is excited to hear from me and even more excited to see me. And correct me if I am wrong, but as you get to know a person shouldn't this desire become stronger?

Sure, I know sometimes guys want to "play it cool" but that's all just a game and I am definitely not interested in a guy that's playing a game. I am actually more interested in a guy that wants to be himself (that's pretty damn sexy if you ask me).

And I also get that whole he's just not that into thing. Sometimes a guy just doesn't like me or loses interest - I get all of that (really I do). Clearly I have mourned the loss of a few guys in my lifetime but at the end of the day if a guy isn't into me he's not and that means its time to move on.

Which is the key point here. If a guy isn't acting interested shouldn't it be normal that you should move on? I refuse to be that girl that's sitting by the phone waiting for the guy who is out meeting other girls because he's not interested in me. And I am definitely not that girl that schemes a way to convince a guy to like her, that is definitely not my style. Point being, if you are interested in me step it up or else I am moving on buddy (and I don't think there is anything wrong with thinking that).

I don't ask for much out of this whole dating thing, but just to actually know that a guy is interested in me. It's that whole actions speak louder than words principle here. Sure you can call me and tell me you are interested or send the occasional text, but unless I really feel it I don't see the point in sticking around.

Maybe some people might see that as giving up too easily; I see it as not wasting my time. The fact of the matter is that there are plenty of fish on the sea. And yeah that is corny and cliché but it's still true. I honestly just feel that my time is better spent getting out there and trying to find a guy that is actually interested in me rather than wasting my time on the guy that is not.



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