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Dating lessons: Chicago is too small and I attract crazies

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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For some reason, over the past few weeks, Fridays have seemed to be my day of reflection. I am not really sure why that is but I will go with it. This week I have learned two things. First, Chicago might be a rather big city but it's much smaller than you think. Second, if there is a crazy guy within a 50 mile radius he will find me and want to date me.

A few days ago a woman emailed me about my blog to tell me that she enjoyed reading it and gave me a few other awesome compliments. She also shared with me a couple of her dating catastrophes; one which was about a dude with a kid who lashed out at her.

I replied to tell her thanks and said how it was funny because I was in a similar situation with a guy who had kid who lashed out at me. (Side note here, the guy was doing the lashing not the kid). Then, she replied to say that the guy she dated mentioned being with a woman who blogged and I am pretty sure you can see where this is going. Yes, that is right we discovered we dated the same guy.

Clearly this leads me to believe that Chicago is not as big as I once thought. Either that or I have just dated half the city (please tell me that I am not going to start running out of guys to date). Anyway, the conversation didn't end there and I suddenly found out a whole lot about this guy.

First of all the guy told me that the mother of his child was no longer in the picture. Turns out his "cousin" is not really his cousin but actually the mother of his child (is it fair to say baby mama here?). I am actually still questioning if it is his wife (perhaps cousin means wife where he is from?). I am also still questioning if he was just aiming for a threesome or maybe a second wife. Clearly I will probably never find out.

He also told me that his parents were dead. Yeah, not so much apparently - they are alive and kicking. Oh and his job and driver's license seem to be quite questionable among many other things (like which institution he could have escaped from).

So yes, apparently I totally attract crazy and I can totally laugh at myself for dating this guy. I mean seriously if you can't laugh off these kind of situations you would probably die or at least swear off dating for the rest of your life.

In my defense, I did see a few red flags with this guy. And I know, trust me, I know. But I genuinely think it's fine to let a few minor things slide. It's when it's a big thing or when the little things become a big thing that you need to run. Of course, luckily for me that was when he lashed out at me about my blog. Which in some really weird way kind of makes me think my dating luck isn't that bad after all.



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r_vance_b said:


some younger women misinterpret the quiet, normal guy as boring and actually are literally attracted to the noisiest craziest guy in the vicinity. i'm not saying YOU are, just that its a trend i've seen among some of my female friends.

Jessica Downey said:


I totally agree with you. When I was younger I did that a lot. I have learned that isn't always the case at all. Though the guy in this post presented himself as the quiet normal guy. That's why I always say you have to go on a couple of dates and actually get to know the person a little.

Daniel Scogin said:


Like I told you last year, I think they were cousins AND married! SO glad you canned that one when you did! You deserve MUCH better and he is out there! XOXO

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