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You can't teach an old douche bag new tricks

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Man with present standing between two women

On Sunday night, I caught the first episode of the new season of Tough Love. We've already established that I am a big fan of the show; in fact I actually want to be on it. Anyway, this season is actually tough love for couples.

While watching the show, I kept thinking to myself - are you kidding me?

I understand that every couple has problems and sometimes they need an outside party to help them solve those problems. No shame there. Really. I think that's a great thing and more power to you. I also realize that this is VH1 "reality" TV so I have to take it with a grain of salt. Unfortunately I do know couples like some of the couples on the show so I know it's really not all that far fetched.

Case in point, the couple labeled "The Mistrusfuls". The guy lies to his girlfriend constantly and obviously has no intention of being faithful to her. All he talked about was how crazy it is to be with one girl for the rest of his life. When Steve asked him point blank if he could be faithful, his reaction was obvious - he knows he can't. Another case? The "High School Sweethearts" that have been together for eight years.

Correct me if I am wrong, but if a guy isn't giving you what you want/need and if he is blatantly disrespecting you (i.e. lying to your face) shouldn't you break up with him instead of bringing him on Tough Love? Maybe I am just too harsh but if a guy isn't a good boyfriend then you stop dating him. Sure I know it's not that cut and dry (trust me, I have been there). Nevertheless, enough should eventually be enough, right?

As a side note here, this is the way that I feel about the whole Tool Academy thing too.

Here's the thing to remember here, sometimes people are more honest with their actions then with their words. You not only have to listen to the words people say, but you also have to "listen" to what the actions are saying as well. Coincidentally, this is why I am a firm believer in the whole actions speak louder than words thing. If you tell a girl you love her, that's fantastic (and you should always tell her that) but what about your actions? That all goes for you too ladies.

Maybe the guy just isn't ready for a relationship or maybe he just doesn't want to be with you. It's sad but sometimes physical attraction outweighs everything else. And sometimes the desire to have the type of relationship you think you should be having outweighs everything else. One important thing I have learned is that when a guy meets the right girl he puts effort into it. If he's not then there is obviously something else going on there.

Oh and just another thought. If you have to mold a guy into the person that you want for yourself, can you really say that you are in love with the person? For me personally, love is unconditional and it means that you accept the person for who they are. Obviously there are limits, like when they are treating you badly. And maybe you try to work it out, but if you can't then find a new guy. Don't waste your time trying to turn the guy into something he is not just so you can be happy. That doesn't make any sense.

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