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Online dating messages gone bad: You look like a girl who is DTF

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.


Apparently there is a shirt that actually says it. This little shirt right here can be found at

Once again, I have yet another message to share from OkCupid to continue with my series Online Dating Messages Gone Bad.

This is actually a pretty short but not so very sweet message. As always I didn't change the message in anyway, just omitted any personal information. This is what was in my inbox:

Subject line: dtf

Message: you look like a girl who is dtf

Now for those of you that that don't know what "dtf" means, don't feel bad I had no clue either. I actually had to google it to figure it out. Thank god for the good old urban dictionary.That is right folks it means down to fu**. It seems a little funny that I don't want to drop the f-bomb in my blog yet a guy had no problem saying this to me in a message, don't you think?

As a little side note here, I should mention that this guy is only 19-years-old so that should clearly explain a lot. It also explains why he used the acronym and just assumed that everyone would know what he is talking about. I find this is the case a lot with guys under 25.

Honestly, I am not really sure where to start with this one. For starters, I am not overly impressed by guys that use text chat in messages to me. I think it's lame and I would rather carry on an actual conversation rather than a bunch of abbreviations and shortened words. Though I tend to get past that. Except in this case, of course, because clearly I did not respond to this guy.

Next thing. Who really says that to a woman they have never met before? Trust me when I say this, a comment like that doesn't get you anywhere. Even if all you are looking for is a casual night of nakedness, it still won't get you that either.

I somewhat entertained the idea that maybe he was just kidding, which clearly he could have been. Though when that's all there is in the message how is anyone supposed to get that impression? Plus, if you are trying to make me laugh, this probably isn't the best approach. Just some little advice for next time there, buddy.

Honestly, I am not sure what looking like a girl that's "DTF" really even means. What's all involved with having this sort of look? And how might one get this impression from a picture of me on the internet? Is this what is considered a compliment now? I definitely hope not. Clearly this is not what I singed up for with this internet dating thing.So to the "DTF" guy, next time I would try a different approach when you are trying to get a woman's attention. And I really hope that his suave approach hasn't actually worked because ladies that's not cool either.



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Erin Keane said:


LOL, this reminds me of the time some kid came up behind me on the sidewalk and told me I looked like Beyoncé.

Jessica Downey said:


That is hilarious Erin. Maybe that's his standard line? Too funny.

TKM said:


That's the thing I found with OKC when I was on it. Since it was free and had the Casual Encounters type option you would find a LOT of that sorta stuff. I never considered it a place for anything serious to happen.

Jessica Downey said:


True, when it's free it can be harder to weed out the bad. Though I know people that have been successful on there. And the really sad thing is that I have recieved messages like this when I was on and a few years ago. A little scary that people pay and still look for something casual isn't it??

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