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Guest Post: Okay guys, it's time to break up with Ed!!!

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

Sometimes gay guys have the best views on straight guys. My dear friend, Daniel Scogin, definitely falls into that category. I know it might seem like I am a little biased, but I promise he really does. When he asked to guest blog of course I accepted (and by accepted I mean encouraged). We are actually thinking about starting a little series, so be on the look out for that. Here is his first post where he encourages guys, in a very non-subtle sort of way, to ditch Ed Hardy.

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Okay guys, its time to break up with Ed!!!

By Daniel Scogin, Straight Guy from the Queer Eye

So you are getting ready to head out to the club on a Saturday night; you shower, shave, pomade the hair, and put on the cologne. This is all good. It's the next step that ruins EVERYTHING. You go to your closet and grab every article of clothing that says "Ed Hardy" on it and put it on. I am talking underwear, jeans, shirt (with the matching undershirt), shoes and the ugly metal necklace. What are you, a walking contradiction of male fashion or a billboard for Douche Bags of America?

What happened to dressing to impress, not dressing to show off how much money you waste on clothes. There is something to be said for the man at the bar dressed impeccably without having the designer's name embroidered across the chest or down the sleeve. This is a confident man who doesn't need to impress the ladies with labels but knows he has something more to offer. I fear the men who douse themselves in labels are hoping the ladies will see the labels and not the REAL man behind them. What are you afraid of?

Ironically, the last thing I want is some other man's name written across my ass. I understand it can be difficult for some men to pick out clothes without the help of their mothers, and Ed Hardy has done a great job of piecing together these, dare I say, "ensembles." Just because Ed Hardy says it looks good, you wear it? If Ed Hardy told you it was hot to jump off the Hancock Building, would you? Are you happy you are wasting your money to have some dude decide what you wear (all the way down to your briefs, really that's even too gay for me)? So let's say you don't care and you really like the clothes (wait I just threw up on my keyboard a little) then what does that say about you? Maybe you are on the prowl and that is your goal in life (or Saturday night) and I am down with that.

While I do realize there are different agendas when going out to a club, there is a common denominator; a need to feel attractive and desired. This is a natural human trait; we want attention.....a.k.a. SEX! There is nothing wrong with hooking-up. If that is you goal for the night, then you might be fine in your "look at me and my jeans with some other guy's name written across my ass." I am also sure the chances of you hooking-up with some drunk girl is probably pretty good. But just remember, the next day when she is doing the walk of shame back home from your place, all you have left is Ed! If this is the way you want to live your life, honey, then enjoy the shallow end of the pool, but when you are ready to grow up you can join the others in the deep end.

And Remember...

When in fear, ask this queer!!!

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1 Comment

Daniel Scogin said:

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Thanks Jess for letting my guest blog on you, eww I mean you site!!! Love you! XOXOXO

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