If he doesn't call to get his hat back then he's just not that into you

About a week ago I went on a date with this guy. There was some music, a little food and even a little jaunt back to my place. Honestly it was probably one of the most entertaining dates I have been on recently. I mean really, this guy was beyond hilarious. And it was apparent that he was enjoying himself as well.

Anyway, it had been awhile I decided to send him a text. You know one of those brilliantly clever and funny texts in which you reference some really funny thing you discovered and/or talked about on the first date. Well apparently he didn't really think that I was funny or clever because it has been like three days and I have yet to receive a response.

And no, I am not still expecting one. I would definitely say that no response after three days is a pretty clear indication that he will never be responding. Technically I didn't really even need a full three days to figure that out. No big deal, really. While sure the date was definitely fun, it was only a first date so I can't say I had really made any future plans involving Mr. Hilarious.

Yesterday I was doing a little cleaning. I am an avid weekly cleaner, but once a month or so I like to pull out all my furniture and such in order to really clean. Well, in all of my cleaning I discovered that the guy had left his hat at my place. Which kind of made me laugh or feel really embarrassed for myself (I am still trying to figure out which).

I would say that if the fact that he didn't respond to my text didn't hint at the idea that he wasn't interested this pretty much confirms it. Yeah, I would say this pretty much screams "Hey lady I am not interested in seeing you ever again." Actually, I am not really sure how I became that woman. The woman that is so terrible that the guy is willing to part with an actual possession just to avoid seeing her again. Wow. This would be where that whole embarrassment thing comes in. Though, I have to say, clearly you had plenty of fun on the date buddy.

I will admit that I kind of toyed with the idea that he just didn't realize it. After all, it is a hat you know. He could have many right? Yes, I know that's totally lame. Though can you blame a girl for trying to make herself feel a little better? However, I know that's not the case at all. As my friend Daniel so nicely put it:

Jessica, I used to wear a lot of hats and let me say you know when one was missing. You see, hats are kind of like bras for girls. You might have a ton of them but you still know when one is gone. And you notice when you leave someone's place and you don't have one on.

That sounds pretty accurate and I can't argue there at all. You have to love friends that put it into perspective like that.

So, to the guy that left his hat at my place. If you would like your hat back, feel free to contact me. I am definitely not the girl who will take it as a sign that you are interested in me, but only as a sign that you would like your hat back. In fact, I will even leave it with my doorman just to avoid any confusion if you would like.