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How to end the first date: The worst advice ever

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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Dating books are a lot of fun. Generally I like to read them out of curiosity, I always wonder what other people have to say about dating and being single. Plus a little advice never hurts a girl right? Lately I have been reading this book called Why Hasn't He Called. Actually, I would like to call it The Cookie Cutter's Guide to Getting the Cookie Cutter Guy since I feel like that title is far more fitting for the book.

As a side note here, I feel like I should sort of defend the corny title here. Actually, I read the reviews on Amazon.com and that is what hooked me. Honestly, I couldn't believe that a book would actually recommend some of the things the reviews said so I had to see to myself. I am almost done with the book and I have to say the reviews didn't disappoint me. They weren't lying at all. This book gives some of the most absurd advice that I have ever heard.

The book talks about how to end the first date. Of course it says you should be the first to say goodnight, don't allow a guy to kiss you (yeah right), and don't talk at all about any future plans to see each other. You should, however, do the following (I had to take the direct quote from the book because restating it just wouldn't do it justice):

As he extends his hand, pull him closer and whisper in his ear (with your lips brushing up against his cheek), "You're the sexiest boy I have been out with this week."

According to the book, this will make a couple of things happen. The guy will know that you have other guys interested in you which makes him want to compete to have you for his own. Plus it helps his ego by telling him that he's better than all the others.

Wow, apparently I have never ended a date correctly because I have to tell you that I have never in my life said any such thing to a guy. First of all, if I like a guy I tend to end the date with a kiss. Is that so wrong? Second of all, if I want to give a guy an ego boost by telling him he is sexy, I simply say to him "You are sexy."

This kind of seems like the worst advice to give a woman on how to end a date. In fact, I would say it's pretty crappy and it sucks. Just think about it.

Most men don't really like it when you talk about boy and sex in the same sentence. Actually, I know a lot of guys that don't really like the word boy at all. Which, yeah, sometimes that is a little stupid. Nevertheless, I don't know any guy who feels like a sexy man when you call him a boy and it certainly doesn't stroke his ego.

When you are on the first date, I think it's pretty much assumed that you might have had other dates that week or might have one planned later that weekend. In fact, it's almost an unwritten rule. Plus it's also likely that he has other dates as well. I have always had the understanding that it's a little tacky to brag about how many dates you have had that week.

If the date is going well, you don't want to end it by sounding completely full of yourself. You are the sexiest guy this week; you lucky dog you. Of course you don't even hold a candle to the six dates I had last week and let's not even go into the week before.

So ladies, I would say steer clear of this little statement. You will probably thank yourself later. I would also like to know if there are any guys out there that would actually be flattered by this. Anyone care to speak up?

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14 Comments

TKM said:

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If that were ever whispered in my ear? I'd wonder why we were ending the night so early!

Jessica Downey said:

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Haha! Good point! So this wouldn't make you want more and think you are some super stud? Of course the book says never to invite a guy up to your place on the first date and certainly you never "do it" with him.

TKM said:

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Well the comment would boost my ego a bit (the this week portion would throw me for a loop). But the mixed message of the sexy whisper followed by what, a quick good night? Would probably annoy me and make me think twice about a 2nd date.

Bald Chi Guy said:

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If a woman ended a date that way, I would think "Drama", and go running for the hills.

Jessica Downey said:

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Maybe it's a better way to get rid of the guy as opposed to landing a second date?

Jessica Downey said:

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Exactly what I was thinking. Doesn't really seem sexy to me at all (maybe a little crazy though).

Jimmy Greenfield said:

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I once had a woman tell me at the end of a first date that she had to go home. Turns out she was reading "The Rules" and the book didn't allow more than one activity.

No, there was no second date.

Jessica Downey said:

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Ok, that's kind of funny but also a little sad. What about if more than one activity is at the same place. Would "The Rules" count that as one or more? Clearly this is why you have to make your own rules!! :)

Erin Keane said:

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LOL! That is the most hilarious thing I've ever heard.

Message from Montie said:

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This...week? *shaking my head* Yeah, thanks for letting us know about this one. I'm always entertained by relationship books, but this is one I'll pass on. Although "Crash Course in Love" was nothing to brag about either.

Jessica Downey said:

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I know! My thoughts exactly! You are welcome. The sad part is this isn't even the worst part of the book. Stay tuned, I will talk about more of it. I am reading "Crash Course in Love" right now. It's not terrible, but it's an easy read and kind of lacks substance.

Message from Montie said:

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In that photo above, is that someone else's head on someone's body? It looks like a Photoshop job. That was what caught my attention about the blog.

Jessica Downey said:

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I am sure it is a Photoshop job of some sort. I found the pic on a website of pics that I use. Good to know it caught your attention! :)

TKM said:

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I don't know, the picture looks more like one from russianbrides.com.....

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