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Guy proofing your apartment: More of the worst dating advice ever

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

A little while ago, I wrote about a little book I like to call The Cookie Cutter's Guide to getting the Cookie Cutter Guy. As a little refresher, the book is called Why Hasn't He Called?

I have found yet another thing that I was not aware I should be worried about while I've been dating - guy proofing your apartment. This book offers a good 15 pages on the subject. Who knew there was that much information? Honestly, I didn't think that guys really paid that much attention to my apartment. And I have to say I think it's pretty tacky for a guy to completely chuck me for any one of these reasons.

The funny part about all this is that they claim that your apartment should be a reflection of who you are. Kind of sounds more like it's a reflection of the woman you want him to think you are. 

I would also like to add here that the authors themselves admit that this was not the case for them (they are a married couple). In fact Matt even said that when he first went to Tamsen's place he couldn't believe what he saw - dirty clothes, no furniture and boxes of stuff everywhere. Yet none of this made him run. Later in the night he found out that there was an explanation for all of it. She was in a transitioning phase. He also admitted that if he hadn't been so into her he might have bailed.

Correct me if I am wrong here, but doesn't this kind of negate their whole theory on guy proofing your pad? Actually I am pretty sure it backs up the idea that what your apartment looks like might have nothing to do with it at all. Maybe it actually might depend on the guy's level of interest. Genius really.

Here are a few of my "favorite" rules and suggestions (and by favorite I mean laughable. I don't condone following these at all). Would any guys out there like to offer their opinion on any of these?

 

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6 Comments

TKM said:

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About the only one I would maybe agree with is the books/diaries. Unless of course you have mentioned in covnersations on previous dates that you were reading x book for y article or something. I would stash them in a coffee table cabinet or at least dilute them out amongst the rest of the library so they aren't concentrated and noticeable. But on the other hand if you were talking about your jobs and said, "Man I have to read soome of the cheesiest stuff for work" or something like then I don't see any problems.

Jessica Downey said:

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I can kind of agree that it might not be the best to have tons of books like this out in plain sight. Though I kind of wonder if maybe it could be a good conversation starter. I would hope that you would know enough about the person to not be totally scared off by something like this.

Erin Keane said:

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Wow, this is terrible...I assume if you have a guy over to your apartment you would want him to get to know you...Also, creating the illusion that you are some super human female does nothing but raise expectations. Really doesn't promote intimacy either.

Jessica Downey said:

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I completely agree. The book made it seem like everything should look perfect and be perfectly in it's place. Wouldn't that make a guy really uncomfortable to touch anything? Definitely not the vibe I go for when I have a guy at my place.

Sarah Koz said:

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Oh no! If you have up photos of babies he will assume you're looking to get preggers and settle down and he will be intimidated and flee!

Jessica Downey said:

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Hah! I know. And to think, all this time I thought that a guy just wasn't interested in me. It was secretly because I had a couple of pictures of babies in my apartment. Who knew! :)

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