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I really appreciate that you like me

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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A little while ago I sort of put my feelings out there for a guy by telling him that I was interested in him. His response? "I really appreciate that." Ouch thanks douche bag really. I mean generally I am not an advocate for that whole no response thing, but clearly in this case I would have rather had that. If you can't be honest then why even bother? Why are guys such wussies when it comes to telling a woman they are just not that into her?

If someone is obviously interested in you and you don't have the same feelings, it is generally a good idea to tell them. Just be honest about it. Sure, this is not a fun thing to do at all. It's just all part of dating and if you don't want to deal with the messy stuff then don't date.

I know the arguments against telling the person, but honestly they don't really seem all that valid to me.

The person will go really crazy when you tell them that you aren't interested.

While this might be true how do you really know that? And if you do know that then why were you dating a crazy person to begin with? Plus who is to say that just because you are ignoring them doesn't mean you still wont have issues. If you are actually honest, it will save you a lot of trouble in the long run. Example? When the person is blowing up your phone for weeks because you won't call them back or showing up where you work. After all, crazy is crazy.

You don't want to be the mean person by hurting their feelings.

News flash here. Ignoring their calls so you don't have to actually tell them does not make you a nice person. In fact I am pretty sure it makes you just as bad as you think you would be for hurting their feelings. Plus, you are just being honest and sometimes the truth hurts. So get over it.

You weren't seriously dating so you don't feel like you really have to tell them.

This one is tricky because in some ways I can kind of see the reasoning behind this. Though my rule of thumb still is that if the person shows interest then you should tell them you aren't. That is unless you want to end up with crazy from argument number one.

There was one time actually that I went on a date with a guy and I knew immediately that I wasn't interested. He walked me home and kissed me - something that I tried to avoid but was impossible to get away from. A couple of days later he sent me a text which made it clear to me that he was interested. I simply told him that I was not. Sure he went on for awhile about how he didn't think that I should assume I am not interested and so on. Was it annoying? Yes, definitely. Was is some terrible experience that I couldn't live through? Definitely not.

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2 Comments

Sarah Koz said:

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Yeh, I just had a guy pull #3 on me. Sucks coz I was giving him time after a hospital visit to 'recover,' and he led me on for months before outright saying he wasn't interested. Thanks dickworm. I should not have waited.

Jessica Downey said:

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I hate it when that happens. Especially if you are being nice and giving his excuse the benefit of the doubt. What a jerk!

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