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Where is this relationship going?

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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One of my fellow bloggers, Sex and the Windy City recently wrote about defining a relationship. Which of course lead me to think about it as well. We've already established that this whole dating thing can be really confusing - that's kind of a no-brainer. And let's face it, the idea of where it's going and if the two of you are on the same page can sometimes be the most confusing.

Here's the thing about our society, it is obsessed with labels to define who you are. Gay, straight, bi, single, married, and so on. There is a label for everything and some people get really confused when you don't have a label.

Here's the thing about me, I hate labels. I honestly don't believe anyone really fits into a label and that people are just who they are. Labels are just too confining to me. I mean just because I am single, does that mean that I am just like every other single woman out there? No, definitely not.

Here's the thing about relationships, there needs to be some sort of definition at some point. While I don't believe you have to label exactly what you are, I think it is important to know that the two of you are on the same page. Now, don't get me wrong here. There isn't necessarily a need for the big dramatic and serious "where is this all going" type of conversation (unless of course that fits your style of relationship). The talk can definitely be casual and fun (and not scary at all).

Sure, there are definitely signs that a guy is into you, but this doesn't always translate to you being his girlfriend. I have had "relationships" with guys where it has felt totally romantic and all relationshipy like, but the guy wasn't really looking for anything serious. So even though he felt like my boyfriend, he wasn't. I have also had guys think I am their girlfriend when I had no idea that's where it was going. See how those situations can get messy?

So yeah, I am a big fan of the talk so there is no confusion and so no one gets hurt. There is a time and a place for everything, so just make sure it fits your relationship.



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