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Just wanted to catch up and by the way I'm engaged

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Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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The other day I met up with a guy I know at Delilah's. We had a few beers and ended up swapping a few crazy dating stories. Lately, I have noticed that as I have started writing about single life more and more people have started sharing their stories with me (especially guys). This is definitely a great thing and I am by no means complaining. I enjoy listening to other people's stories and it is part of the reason I started writing in the first place. Plus, it makes for great conversation as well.

 

He told me a story about this girl that he had dated for a few months who ended it because apparently she felt a little suffocated by that whole serious relationship thing. Poor girl, I mean really. A few months later she e-mailed him to catch up on things and then ended the message by telling him she was now engaged.

 

First of all, what sort of person feels the need to e-mail a guy she broke up with just to check up on things? I can really only think of two reasons anyone should ever contact an ex. Either you miss them and want to date again or you want to get together for a night of naked fun. Clearly if you are engaged to be married you really shouldn't want either of those things which means there is really no reason for an e-mail.

 

Second of all, who breaks up with a guy because they are in this horribly smothering relationship and then turns around and gets engaged a couple of months later. Obviously a person who doesn't really feel that the whole icky relationship stuff is all that bad.

 

Now, obviously I can't make assumptions about this woman, but I would wager a guess that she met this fiancé person before she actually ended the relationship. Which, I mean that sort of things happens. However, handling this situation like this is a big no-no ladies. So how about a few tips here.

 

When you decide you don't want to date a person, how about you just say that instead of opting for the lame "I can't handle a serious relationship" speech. Making up excuses doesn't really soften the blow of a break up, I assure you.

 

If you decide not to be honest and the guilt starts to get to you, please just ignore it. Contacting him months later is simply not cool. I guarantee you that he is probably over the whole situation and doing just fine. And I can also guarantee you that while it might clear your conscience it also makes you the female version of a douche bag.

 

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1 Comment

Erin Keane said:

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The don't call it an ex for nothing. You must EX-communicate. P.S. His ex is a b-i-t-c-h. Just rude.

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