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Just wanted to catch up and by the way I'm engaged

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.


The other day I met up with a guy I know at Delilah's. We had a few beers and ended up swapping a few crazy dating stories. Lately, I have noticed that as I have started writing about single life more and more people have started sharing their stories with me (especially guys). This is definitely a great thing and I am by no means complaining. I enjoy listening to other people's stories and it is part of the reason I started writing in the first place. Plus, it makes for great conversation as well.


He told me a story about this girl that he had dated for a few months who ended it because apparently she felt a little suffocated by that whole serious relationship thing. Poor girl, I mean really. A few months later she e-mailed him to catch up on things and then ended the message by telling him she was now engaged.


First of all, what sort of person feels the need to e-mail a guy she broke up with just to check up on things? I can really only think of two reasons anyone should ever contact an ex. Either you miss them and want to date again or you want to get together for a night of naked fun. Clearly if you are engaged to be married you really shouldn't want either of those things which means there is really no reason for an e-mail.


Second of all, who breaks up with a guy because they are in this horribly smothering relationship and then turns around and gets engaged a couple of months later. Obviously a person who doesn't really feel that the whole icky relationship stuff is all that bad.


Now, obviously I can't make assumptions about this woman, but I would wager a guess that she met this fiancé person before she actually ended the relationship. Which, I mean that sort of things happens. However, handling this situation like this is a big no-no ladies. So how about a few tips here.


When you decide you don't want to date a person, how about you just say that instead of opting for the lame "I can't handle a serious relationship" speech. Making up excuses doesn't really soften the blow of a break up, I assure you.


If you decide not to be honest and the guilt starts to get to you, please just ignore it. Contacting him months later is simply not cool. I guarantee you that he is probably over the whole situation and doing just fine. And I can also guarantee you that while it might clear your conscience it also makes you the female version of a douche bag.




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1 Comment

Erin Keane said:


The don't call it an ex for nothing. You must EX-communicate. P.S. His ex is a b-i-t-c-h. Just rude.

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