Deal breakers in dating: The bad first move

Obviously sometimes you get a little confidence with experience. Which somehow translates into the guy no longer being nervous when he goes in for the first move. Though, this is pretty normal, I will admit. I mean really, it might be a little weird if your 30-year-old acts like he's still 16 while he's on a date with you right? It would be kind of like that episode of friends where Monica goes out with Chip. Yeah, definitely not my idea of fun.

However, sometimes you also get more then just a little confidence with all of this experience. Which is what we in the dating world would like to call cockiness and it isn't cool. This is definitely where we have a problem. Oh and just in case you are wondering cockiness is never, I repeat never, cool.

Here's the thing about that whole first move thing. The first move with me is still the first move. Granted, it's not the same as the very first time you ever made a move, there is no argument there. However, even if you have made the first move a hundred times before, this is still the first time you are making a move with me. See how that classifies as the first move there?

Let me be clear here, I am not talking about confidence in a guys ability to please a woman - that's a whole other blog. What I am talking about is that little fear about if the woman really wants you to kiss her. All that excitement and curiosity on what it will be like to kiss me (and of course do all those other sexual things with me). That sort of excitement that translates into nervousness. Yeah, it might seem a little juvenile, but isn't this part of what makes dating fun?

No matter how many women that have wanted you to kiss them, that doesn't mean all women want you to. And, I mean if you are on a date with a woman shouldn't it be your goal to impress her a little?

Here's the other thing about the first move. There is something attractive, almost sexy, about a guy who gets a little nervous when he goes in for the kill. And, yes, little things like that do actually impress a lot of women. You know, just something to keep in mind.

Most women I know, myself included, are in no way attracted to cockiness. When a guy acts like he's too cool for school when he's making the first move it totally ruins the moment and frankly, that sucks. If you ruin the moment by being too cocky, that can actually be the same thing as being a really bad kisser. Just a little sometime else to keep in mind.