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There is no (good) excuse for standing a person up

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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Stood up. Two pretty ugly words right there. I am pretty sure that's one of the worst phrases in the dating dictionary. It's kind of like dropping the f-bomb in front of your Grandma on Christmas morning. The worst part of it is that you can't really see it coming. I mean I have had it happen when I literally just talked to the man a couple of hours before to confirm plans for the date. How does that even happen? Really.


Honestly, I have to say that I simply do not feel that there is any good reason for standing a person up. A few years ago I might have thought differently, but in this day and age people are just way too accessible. Nearly everyone has a cell phone and most of those phones have texting, e-mail, etc. Even if it's just a regular everyday cell phone, it still has calling capability. I mean that is, after all, why you have a cell phone right?


Yes, I know what you are thinking and of course if my date dies I do not expect him to miraculously come back from the dead just to call me and say "sorry Jess, but I will not be able to make it this evening." Equally, if my date is in some tragic accident where he is knocked unconscious, looses a limb or has to be rushed to the emergency room, I would say he's off the hook.


Here's one thing I know from all my years of dating (and being stood up more then my fair share of times). If something happens to someone that you know, most likely you have to get to wherever they are to help them or wait by their side. Unless the person lives right next door, that is just simple logic. So, in this travel time you can use that cell phone that we talked about earlier to call your date, text them, or e-mail them. Really no one is picky, use whatever works best for you in that situation to simply say you will not be able to make it that evening. It's not that your date expects to be the most important thing on your mind at that moment, it's just about having respect for them as a human being.


Here's another thing I know. A lot of times excuses can sound really lame, but most people will definitely give you the benefit of the doubt that you are telling the truth. All they ask in return is that you actually tell the truth. Seems pretty easy right? And how will they know? Well, simply put. Your date will know because if you are telling the truth then the two of you will actually have the date at the later time. Which means it's not a good idea to use a lame excuse if you aren't actually planning on having a date with the person in the future.


And still, here is yet another thing I know about being stood up. Frankly it sucks. Not just because you spent a couple of hours getting ready but also because of all of the things you now may miss out on (which you were fine with when you declined the offers because you had a date). After all, we are busy people and we have lives. So now not only did you get all ready to go out but you get to sit at home all alone and think about how you were stood up. Doesn't sound like fun does it?



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