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The rules of dating

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.

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Anyone who knows me can attest for the fact that I have somewhat of a rebellious side which means that I don't really like to play by the rules. I am not really all that into labels or stereotypes because I honestly feel that people are people and we should just be ourselves. These are things that I really love about myself but that sometimes can make my dating life a little crazy.


Recently I had a conversation with a guy I know about dating rules which made me think about how they can really affect the way we date. If a person is so caught up in playing by all the rules there is a chance that they might miss out on a really fantastic opportunity. There is also a good chance you might seem like a person you aren't just because you are so wrapped up in playing by the rules.


I have been on numerous dates with very different types of guys. Clearly they have not all felt the same way about how dating works. Which leads me to think maybe its not breaking the dating rules that ruins the date (or relationship), but having the rules in the first place.


I know a few couples that are incredibly happy that didn't play by the rules at all. Sure, they could be the exception, but I think that kind of exceeds the limit for exceptions here. So while I guess I can value a few of the rules, I think it really depends on the situation and the person you are on a date with. Here are a few that top my annoying list.


Rule #1 You should always wait at least three days after the date to call a girl

I don't really believe in this rule at all, in fact I think it sucks. I say if you want to call me the day after the date, please go ahead. Honestly, sometimes that can be a really sweet gesture. Coincidentally texting me a couple of hours after the date to say you had a good time is just fine by me. There is a distinct difference between being clingy and sweet. Calling me the day after because you couldn't wait to talk to me again is sweet. Showing up at my door two hours after the date because you googled my address is not sweet, actually it's really creepy.

Rule #2 A man should always ask a girl out

Ah yes, one of the fuzziest rules. Some men love a woman who does the asking and some men hate it. Is it really fair to ask a woman who likes to do the asking to wait around for a man to do it just because she is a woman? I personally say if you are a woman who likes to ask a man out, go for it. If he is offended by it then he probably isn't the right guy for you anyway.

Rule #3 A woman should always play hard to get

Let me get this straight. If I like a man I should never be available for dates, I should always let his call roll to voicemail and wait an hour or two before answering his texts. In what world do men actually get turned on by this? I have to tell you that I have no interest in dating a man that wants a woman like that. If I am interested I will text you back and just for fun I may even answer when you call me. And while I might not clear my entire schedule for you, I will find time to plan a date with you. Once again, if this is a turn off for you then you probably aren't the guy for me.

Rule # 4 A woman should always act feminine, let the man play the tough masculine role

What does this even mean? Correct me if I am wrong, but since I am a woman doesn't that make me feminine? And what kind of date are we going on where you have to play your masculine card? Coincidentally there are obvious physical differences between us so trust me I know you are a man. It is clear, to everyone, really. Unless we are being held at gunpoint how about we worry more about just having a good time and getting to know each other.


What dating rules do you hate?



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1 Comment

Eric Spring said:

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I hate that fat chicks think weight doesn't matter and that it is all about personality.

You don't get to date the best looking guys being a fattie. We work hard to look good so why should we settle?

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