All The Single Ladies

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Why are you single?

Jessica Downey

Coffee addict. The serial single girl. Jessica will give you the what’s what on single life and dating in Chicago.



Oh the dreaded question that everyone has been asked at least once in their lifetime. If you are like me, you have been asked about your single status more times then you would actually care to count. It is likely to come up on a first date and sometimes it comes up before you even have the first date.


I should be clear here, it's not that I have anything against this question. After all, it is a very legitimate thing to be curious about. The answer is what makes me cringe because honestly, I don't really like opting for the generic "I have no clue" sort of response. Let's face it here, I know perfectly well why I am single. It's just I am not sure which one of my fifty explanations makes me look the most like I am dateable material.


I could start with the fact that I have been on numerous dates with incredibly lame guys. Who wants to spend every Saturday night with a guy like that? Sure, I have been on dates with the nice guys. Those are the guys that are obsessed with me and want to know where I am all the time. Which actually makes them almost as bad as the lame guys.


Then still there are those dates with really fantastic guys, but sometimes these men just fall off the planet. I have no clue as to why this happens and I have no idea where they go. If I could find them maybe I wouldn't be single anymore.


To be completely honest, I don't really mind being single all that much. Yes that's right I said it. And I know full well that when you are on a date with a man, he squirms a little when you say things like that. Though why should he, what's wrong with a woman who is confident in where she is in life? After all, isn't that what most men say they want. To be clear here, I am not anti-relationship in anyway. I just don't see the point in having tons of relationships that I don't think will last.


The bottom line is that unless there is something really incredibly creepy about a person, it doesn't really matter all that much why they are single. How about we look at it like this instead. If you are on a date with me you should be thanking my previous dates for not taking me off the market. I mean really, you wouldn't be able to meet me or date me if one of them had now would you?


Perhaps when you put it like that, the question doesn't seem so bad. Does it?




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