What a night. What a game! What a great weekend (summer?) of celebrating to come. I love that Captain Serious is still out and about in the city as of this moment, shaking hands and signing autographs with seemingly anyone and everyone. I believe you're going to see a lot of that around Chicago over the next few months, plus some random Stanley Cup sightings in who-da-thunk-it locations. The hierarchy of the five major sports teams in town has definitely changed; I won't dare rank the five now, but it's safe to say the Blackhawks no longer occupy the cellar, nor will they for a long time.
But seriousness will be for our Captain and another blog entry. This...is my debearding.
Ah, the Beardmen. Somewhere around Day 39, when I realized that Survivor contestants go this long without shaving only if they've got a shot at a million bucks, I thought "Hey, this sorta itches."
I didn't stop thinking that until a couple minutes ago. But the ride was worth it. If you've still got a playoff beard on your face (or any other extraneous playoff hockey-related growth that I really don't want to know about), please use the following pics as a how-to guide to get rid of the fuzz without too much fuss.
(use the left-right arrows in the upper-right corner if slideshow isn't displaying properly)
Seriously, there's gonna be fur flying. And you don't want said fur getting stuck in whatever clumps of makeup, lotion, spit-out toothpaste or whatever inhabits your bathroom. I'm pretty sure that's how superviruses are born.
Good advice for many areas of life. But especially if you live with others, this is just being considerate.
It's like the Blackhawks dressing room right after they won! CHAMPAGNE EVERYWHERE IN THIS BATHROOM!
Check it. That was some serious beard. I never thought the camera angle we used for Beardmen captured its grizzly essence. Or grisly, if you hate the bearded look.
I got this from my sister for Christmas. I'll be using every attachment for this one. I wanted to dedicate an entire picture slideshow to the nose trimmer, but Jimmy Greenfield begged me not to.
Your basic Braun shaver for the big areas. By the way, why isn't Brewers OF Ryan Braun all over this endorsement opportunity? I guess he's got too much time devoted to his clothing line.
The sweet release of the shave...
As the whizzing blades of the trimmer sliced through the first few whiskers of keratin protruding from my face, a ray of light shot down from the skies and an angelic choir voiced one loud, beautiful note. Then my dog barked right behind me and I damn near cut myself.
...would it take for you to walk around in your daily routine looking like this? $100? $500? $2?
...how much for this? I felt like an anime cat-person at this moment.
Do I keep the goatee like I had before, or full-on baby-butt my face?
This should be my profile picture for anything and everything I ever do on the internet.
Oh man, it feels so good. I wet my face with a washcloth and stood in front of a fan on full blast for a solid three minutes. It was like Hurricane Awesome was making landfall on my face. Oh, I also lost 13 pounds during the Playoffs. Could've been more, but that's for a future blog.
See, that plastic wrap wasn't just for the cheap Hawks dressing room gag. There's gonna be a lot of hair. Some clumped, some single threads...but it'll be everywhere. Plastic wrap makes clean-up last about ten seconds.
Just kidding. Straight to the garbage. Until next year, playoff beard!
Clean Your Staging Area
Seriously, there's gonna be fur flying. And you don't want said fur getting stuck in whatever clumps of makeup, lotion, spit-out toothpaste or whatever inhabits your bathroom. I'm pretty sure that's how superviruses are born.
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