Super Bowl XLIV Multigenerational and Interspecies Picks

It's been a rough postseason for forecasting winners, and I'm only sitting at 5-5 with one game to go. What's worse, I'm only a game ahead of the dog and the daughter. What's twice as worse, Heather's 6-4. We'll see how well they do when I make them try to nail down a final score.

Before the picks, though, I'd like to share my oh-so-simple Super Bowl Drinking Game. It's nowhere near as intricate as my conference championship version; chances are you're going to be a party with lots of people and you don't have time to focus on a bunch of little rules.

All you need to know is this: when a team scores a touchdown or field goal, drink one representative drink. The two drinks you choose from depend upon the teams playing in the Super Bowl. I invented this back in college and have played almost every year using these drinks, as well as I can recall:

• XXXII - Broncos over Packers. Coors and Miller Lite. Easy.
• XXXIII - Broncos over Falcons. Coors and this weird schnapps we found called "Blackbird". Gross, but at least Denver scored more often.
• XXXIV - Rams over Titans. Bud Light and Jack Daniels (w/ Coke). Very easy choices.
• XXXV - Ravens over Giants, but I didn't play this year. Was on the air during the game.
• XXXVI - Patriots over Rams. Sam Adams and Bud Light. Low-scoring game means I remember everything.
• XXXVII - Bucs over Raiders. I used shots of Captain Morgan vs. shots of Captain Morgan Silver. And with a final score of 48-21, thankfully I had the next day off of work.
• XXXVIII - Patriots over Panthers. I was hosting a radio station Super Party, so I couldn't play. Also, of the 500 or so people there at Rockin' Rodeo (don't ask), not a single one noticed Janet's nipple. Zero.
• XXXIX - Patriots over Eagles. On-air during this game, so no game.
• XL - Steelers over Seahawks. Also on-air during this one, although with only 5 total scores I could've probably gotten away with it.
• XLI - Didn't drink anything because I wanted to be able to remember all of it forever. Um, yeah. Dammit.
• XLII - Giants over Patriots. Sam Adams was easy, but I couldn't think of a good beer for NYC so I picked Long Island Iced Teas. Easily my least-proud moment.
• XLIII - Steelers over Cardinals. Rolling Rock for the Steelers because I couldn't find Iron City, and spiked Arizona Iced Tea.

For this year I still haven't decided what to go with. The Saints provide a multitude of choices, because you could basically say "hey, they drink this on Bourbon Street!"

Straight bourbon could work, but considering the probable high amount of scores in this game I shall decline. Black-and-tan beer fits with the Saints color scheme nicely. Southern Comfort in the form of hurricanes? Don't know.

But for the Colts? I literally have no idea. IS there a beer or drink that has its roots in the state of Indiana? Am I going to get stuck with Colt .45 because that's all I can think of? Please comment your ideas for the Indy drink. Even Billy Dee himself wouldn't want that much malt liquor on Super Sunday.

"No. Hell, no."

On to the picks! Just like before, I held up a picture of both helmets in each hand at the same time. Since I wanted to get actual final scores this week, I had to find a way to get a dog and a three-year-old to choose numbers higher than three. I printed out the digits 0-9 four times on a piece of paper and told Sam to "color" and told Gabe to "raarrrrrrr".

Samantha ran away from me at first, yelling "No no no no no NO NOOOOOO!" After a solid 30 seconds of this, I kindly asked "Please?". She sat down on the carpet, crossed her arms as tightly as she could...then stuck out her toe to lightly tap the Colts helmet. (So they win by a field goal?) Getting her to pick a score was a lot harder:

 

I think I see a solid mark between the two 6's, and she definitely got the 4 in the bottom row. So I guess I'm forced to call Samantha's pick as Colts 66, Saints 4.

Gabe wasted no time with his pick: immediate Colts helmet snarfage. I then told him to chew the digits that will make up the final score, and I swear to God, this dog is weirding me out a little bit:

 

That's absolutely a 4-4-3-7 combo. Unreal. Gabe's pick is the entirely-realistic Colts 44, Saints 37.

Heather's turn, and this definitely isn't maddening to me at all that she's 6-4 and the best I can do is tie her.

Super Sunday is almost here! And even you, the world's most reluctant football fan, usually will watch the Super Bowl. Who you got: Colts or Saints?

Go Saints!

Do you think the Saints will be able to keep up with the Colts' potent offense? And will Dwight Freeney's ankle injury mean that Drew Brees will have more time to throw in the pocket?

What? It's like you're speaking a foreign language. What is the pocket? It doesn't sound like a place anyone would want to be...but if it's a good thing, then I'll say yes.

The pocket is the name of the area where the quarterback...ah, screw it. Really for you this Super Bowl is all about Kim Kardashian versus Kendra Wilkinson. And I feel like I should once again mention that you have a Master's degree in clinical psychology.

It is true that I like the Kardashians, but let's not forget Ellen. If Ellen says the Saints are going to win...then the Saints are going to win. Oh, and did you know that Drew Brees gave Ellen's mom tickets to the Super Bowl? Super nice gesture...which means bonus points for the Saints. By the way, aren't you impressed that I know the name of the quarterback? (Wait is quarterback supposed to be two words? Please don't include this part in the column.)

I think I just aged two weeks by reading that paragraph.

Whatever, I look forward to YOUR lengthy public statement about how you could have possibly lost to ME...you're going down, Quigley!

So you're sticking with the Saints? What's the final score going to be, Smartypants McGloatsalot?

Yes, Saints 31-24. And I'm totally hoping that's a possible final score because I have no idea how the points system works.

You have no idea how lucky you are.

MY PICK:

Virtually every pick I've seen involves the teams hitting the "over" on points scored, and as much fun as it is to be contrarian to the masses...I don't see the "under" hitting. I think Dwight Freeney's injury is enough to give the Saints ample time to pass on the Colts, and I think the Saints won't be able to get to Peyton more than once or twice. The highest-scoring Super Bowl in history was XXIX's 49-26 Niners smackdown of the Chargers...I think we'll be really close to that. The current Vegas line has the Colts by 6...I don't believe they can stop the Saints enough to cover. I go with Colts 38, Saints 34, and one hell of a Super Bowl.