Take charge of your cell phone, take charge of your life

The cell phone has ruined dating. I mean, even Zach Morris used his brick to dupe girls with acts of douchebaggery...very, very pretty douchbaggery, but douchebaggery none-the-less. I'd almost welcome a phonecall ruse at this point, however...at least it's a call. The real culprit, as cellphones are less for emergencies and more a mobile device, text messaging and mobile messaging are taking down my best efforts to be mysterious and aloof, ie. interesting to guys.

I work long action-packed hours and have an exciting social calendar. The cellphone makes me appear far too available, despite this. For whatever ridiculous reason, guys find this impression of availability unattractive. If I am putting aside time to talk with you, it's because I value you and enjoy your company. You'd think this would be in the pros column.

As I addressed before, guys use cellphones to behave like giant weanies. Nine times out of ten, a guy will text rather than call to ask a girl out on a date. The conversation generally goes like this:

Boy: Hey, how was your day?

Girl: It was great. Lots of stuff going on at work. Awesome weather today.

Boy: Yeah, I had a busy day too. Couldn't wait for the walk home to enjoy this weather. Did you finish that book?

(Twenty texts and one bored girl later...)

Boy: So, do you have plans this weekend?

I understand that it is nervewrecking to ask someone out. But, please...PLEASE..if we can't carry on a conversation via phone, think of what dinner is going to be like.

The worst, however, is the 11 p.m. Friday "where are you?" text. Most likely, I have been talking to you all week. Most likely, I have been talking to you all day. The fact that you have only asked about my plans at this time of night is probably related to striking out with that blonde sitting next to you. I'm going to start something gutsy...9 p.m. on Friday, the cellphone gets turned off and I am NOT taking it out with me (lest Ana + Moscow Mule = playing a game of Text Tennis). I don't think this is so outrageous. If someone really wants to see me, they will make plans to see me. Tell me to be somewhere at a place and time and I will be there at that place and time. Maybe one guy will stop texting you...but he's the guy who also won't remember your birthday or tell you you're pretty "just because."

And, I swear, if we have been chatting back and forth all day long and this does not result in dinner, drinks or a malt at the soda fountain, I am going to reinact that scene from Vanila Sky with Cameron Diaz...except I don't have a car, so I will be using rollerblades and sheer crazy.

For a dude's point of view,check out Off The Markley's take on how technology is changing the face of dating.

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