Here is what I no longer have.
A flat stomach.
Shapely, muscle toned thighs and cute booty.
Thick, long "big" hair.
Tight, wrinkle-free skin on my face.
Good, long night's sleep.
Sense that my Abby is safe and sound, tucked away for a peaceful night's sleep in her bedroom down the hall. The knowing that she will be in a peaceful, uneventful slumber until the morning.
Sense that my Abby is safe at school for seven hours of the day.
Sense that my Abby is safe at dance for two hours, three days a week.
Sense that my Abby is safe at a friend's house for three hours.
Sense that my Abby can swim safely for hours at the pool this summer.
Sense that my Abby can play in the lake this summer.
Sense that my Abby is safe.
These are just a few things I no longer have.
What I'd give to go back and appreciate the little, manageable problems, the little moments of normal, the small fears, the treatable earaches and throat infections, the insignificant realities of loss and change.
What I'd give......
Until next time, love each other and appreciate the little things, the small, predictable, controlable, manageable, fixable problems and illnesses.
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