It isn't easy parenting tweens and teens, but there are some good folks sharing their experiences and thoughts about how to do it best. Here are a few of the pieces I've read on the web in the past day or so that I found beneficial.
Screen Addiction Is Taking a Toll on Children by Jane E. Brody on The New York Times blog
"'If kids are allowed to play ‘Candy Crush’ on the way to school, the car ride will be quiet, but that’s not what kids need,' Dr. Steiner-Adair said in an interview. 'They need time to daydream, deal with anxieties, process their thoughts and share them with parents, who can provide reassurance.'
Technology is a poor substitute for personal interaction."
Declaring and enforcing limits when it comes to screen time for our kids is not easy, but this article explains why it is necessary. This article definitely strengthened my resolve.
Speaking of limiting screen time...
Why You Should Ban Smartphones From Your Daughter's Slumber Party by Lauren Paige Kennedy on The Mid
" I failed to plan for one very important detail. And, parents, no matter what theme you settle on for your future slumber party, please learn from my mistake:
Ban smartphones. Do it up front in the invitation. Or send a separate email directly to the parents of kids who are attending, explaining why you want their kids to leave their phones at home. If parents prefer to get in touch—and they may insist—or want to be able to say good-night, devise a scheme where you collect the phones when a child joins the party, and then briefly hand them back at an appointed hour to say good-night. Then ask for them back. Turn them off. And don't back down on this."
She goes on to give five really good reasons why parents should take that approach. I love the note on the phone collection basket in the photo above.
Kids of Helicopter Parents Are Sputtering Out by Julie Lythcott-Haims on Slate
"In 2010, psychology professor Neil Montgomery of Keene State College in New Hampshire surveyed 300 college freshmen nationwide and found that students with helicopter parents were less open to new ideas and actions and more vulnerable, anxious, and self-conscious. “[S]tudents who were given responsibility and not constantly monitored by their parents—so-called ‘free rangers’—the effects were reversed,” Montgomery’s study found. A 2011 study by Terri LeMoyne and Tom Buchanan at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga looking at more than 300 students found that students with “hovering” or “helicopter” parents are more likely to be medicated for anxiety and/or depression."
This is an excerpt from the book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims, who was the Dean of Freshmen and Undergraduate Advising for more than a decade at Stanford University.
I won a copy of this book in a giveaway from ChiIL Mama and it just arrived. I can't wait to sit down with it because this article points out the very real and scary consequences of what overparenting is doing to our kids and young adults.
I'll post a review when I'm finished. Have you read it?
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Filed under: Parenting