Decorating a locker is not an interior design event

Decorating a locker is not an interior design event

I love you, Target, and I love your assortment of items for decorating my home, my patio, myself. What I do not love, however, is the insane number of locker decoration supplies that you have just started featuring in the back-to-school aisle.

Are locker rugs, chandeliers, wallpaper and curtains really necessary for a successful school year? No. No, they are not, and not only are their unnecessary, they are ridiculous.

We went to Target to buy my soon-to-be junior high student a lock for her locker so she could start practicing with it. Yes, the start of school for us is five weeks away, but apparently she's starting to appreciate my advance planning tendencies.  So, we procured the purple Master Lock. Check that off the list.

Next to the locks were some fun magnets. I was okay with that.  Then there were sparkly, magnetic picture frames. Seemed unnecessary but I was still fine.

It was when my daughter wandered an aisle away and then hollered, "This locker chandelier is AWESOME!" that I became

Yes, a chandelier. And it actually lights up.

Do you know how wide my kid's locker is? A whoppping 8 1/2 inches. There is no room for anything besides books. I know parents who are buying thinner coats because there is concern about fitting everything in. There is definitely no room for lighting.

And when she asked, "Can I get a locker rug?" I was annoyed. Annoyed and grossed out.

Do you know what junior high kids leave in their lockers? Everything. Every frickin' thing, including lunch items. Giving those items a breeding ground like a furry rug is perhaps the worst idea in the history of junior high, and that's saying something, as we all know that many horribly bad ideas originate in those hormone-filled hallways.

Aren't those hallways fragrant enough already? Do we need to add to the stench by giving the nastiness somewhere to fester? photo-42 Somewhere like plush shag carpet? The thought just makes me shudder.

Of course, the locker decorating craziness didn't stop there. There are also locker curtains. And magnetic locker wallpaper.

I'm all for personalizing your locker space, and creating a little comfort zone in a school zone that can sometimes feel very uncomfortable. Kids will be more comfortable, however, if they can grab their math book and make it to class on time rather than being late because a locker chandelier blew a fuse.

Keep the focus on getting organized. I was fine with a few of the cute picture frames, but decorating a locker shouldn't make a parent or student want to call in HGTV.

Admittedly, it is mostly harmless fun. (I'm guessing that the chandelier will not ignite the down coat.) I probably would have lobbied for a locker chandelier had it been an option back in my day.

I think my larger issue is that there is nothing left until adulthood, or even college. Picking out curtains for a dorm room seemed like a big deal, but I guess that won't be the case if you've been doing it since sixth grade. And lighting fixture seem decidedly grown up, but not if they're options for 11 year olds. Not to mention that unnecessary extravagance need not be encouraged in this age group.

And what a great comment from fellow ChicagoNow blogger Erin Skibinski to consider donating the money that you could spend on locker decorations and instead helping out kids who don't have school supplies here, or kids across the country who don't have schools, let alone lockers to worry about decorating.

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Filed under: Home Life, Pop Culture

Tags: decorating, locker

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