When my daughter was 8 years old, I married my husband, whom we call my daughter's bonus dad. We very much wanted to include our daughter in our the wedding. As part of our marriage ceremony, we spoke vows to each other as husband and wife, and then we spoke family vows to our special girl as a way of signalizing our commitment to our new family.
While all weddings are rightfully focused on the bride and groom, they are also about the creation of a new family unit. That is particularly true when their are children involved. Our wedding signified not just the creation of a newly married couple, but also of a newly cemented family.
We made sure to say "I do" to each other and also to say "We do" to our trio.
After I wrote about the necklace we gave our tween as part of our wedding ceremony, some of you asked about how we included her in our special day, so I thought I would share the vows that we said about our new family.
Just as the officiant asked if we took each other for better or worse, in good times and in bad, he asked my husband and I if we undertook the responsibilities of parenting together.
"Do you promise to support, honor and unconditionally love your girl, as well as one another, through good times and bad, and from this day forward, will you each do your part to help and support each other and your daughter as you enter into this new family together?"
We did and we still do, just like we promised.
You may also like this piece about my tween's alliance with her bonus dad: My kid hates Notre Dame, my alma mater, and is rooting for Michigan
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Filed under: Parenting