Taylor Swift is better at comforting my kid than I am

I’m no Kanye West, but I’ve never been gaga for Taylor Swift.  She’s fine.  My Tween likes her, but not obsessively, and that’s fine by me.

My Tween had a bad day at school and was upset about something hurtful a friend had said.  This is the tip of the iceberg of mean girl behavior, I fear.  When telling me about it in the car, my Tween got teary.  Nothing I said was of any comfort.  In fact, I’m pretty sure whatever I said was making the situation worse, which in turn made me more desperate to help, which means I tossed out more unhelpful words.

Then I realized Taylor Swift singing her song "Ours" on the radio, and while I thought about turning it off, I changed my mind and I turned it up.  It includes the lyrics

“So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine.”

I told my tween that I think she shines very brightly, and that it's true that people use mean words like rocks. (I had not taken the hint yet to shut up and was still trying to make it all better. Sometimes she needs the metaphor explained.) She uncrumpled just a little.  By the next time the chorus came around, she was belting out the song, the tears were dry, and she was smiling.

I couldn’t ease the social angst of tweendom, but Taylor Swift sure did.  Although I’m a smidge jealous of her effectiveness, I’m also glad that she helped.  I'm grateful that her music soothed my girl's hurt feelings.

I guess Kanye was right, it's good to let Taylor finish.


Were there any songs that helped you make sense of the world as a tween?  Do you have any go-to songs to pick you up after a rough day?

Filed under: Parenting, Pop Culture

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