I wrote this four years ago. Today my husband and I are celebrating 34 years of marriage:
From today's first reading:
Brothers and sisters:
Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is head of his wife
just as Christ is head of the Church,
he himself the savior of the Body.
As the Church is subordinate to Christ,
so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ loved the Church
and handed himself over for her to sanctify her,
cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,
that he might present to himself the Church in splendor,
without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
that she might be holy and without blemish.
So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one hates his own flesh
but rather nourishes and cherishes it,
even as Christ does the Church,
because we are members of his Body.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.
This is a great mystery,
but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church.
In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself,
and the wife should respect her husband. - Ephesians 5:21-33
Read on the day of our wedding:
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-11
Somewhere, deep in my heart, and after thirty years of marriage, I understand these two scriptures.
Corinthians is sort of a no-brainer. Ephesians is trickier, but as I read the words and think about our marriage, I understand that subordination to my husband comes out of my trust in him. He would never abuse that trust or lead our family astray from Jesus Christ and His church.
The other day, my husband and I talked about the past thirty years. "Where did the time go?" "Doesn't it seem like ten years?" "Why are our children all adults?" "Why are they still living at home?" "Why do we look like we're twelve years old in our wedding pictures?" "Did you take that garbage out? I can't lift it."
The story continues: