"The notion that one gains freedom by rebelling against God has been a popular illusion since Eden. The paradox of the Gospel is that we are set free from the chains of our making by choosing to yoke ourselves to Christ, who bursts our bonds by His own Death and Resurrection. - in yesterday's Magnificat."
Years ago I had a Catholic friend who tried to explain this to me. I didn't get it then, but I do now because I try to live my life yoked to Christ.
Is life easier without Jesus Christ? It wasn't for me. Is it easier with Jesus Christ? Well ...
My daughter pointed out my lack of "forgiveness skills." OUCH! Nothing like my twenty-something child holding up a mirror so I can clearly see my faults.
But my daughter is right. Watching my mother live her whole life in the grip of unforgiveness and grudge-holding, left it's residue on me.
For me, it is a layering affect and it just builds up over the years. Each indiscretion I feel towards me just keeps stacking up until I'm so angry I can't manage it anymore. My mother cut people off over the years until there was no one left. I don't do that, but avoidance is my first choice of defense. Plus, if I'm not around the alleged offenders, I can't open my mouth to say something either incredibly witty, really, really, stupid or the most likely scenario: swear my head off at them!
Since I really can't change someone else, the only thing I can do is change my reaction to them.
Forgiveness is tough. I certainly can't force it. Most of the time, I experience it like the layers of an onion being peeled back one at a time.
Seeing that trait in me through my daughter's eyes was jarring. I was aware of my shortcoming. But maybe I haven't been working as hard on it as I should.
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. - Unknown