I Was Waiting for That Star, Too

I Was Waiting for That Star, Too
The Magi

"The Magi set out because of a deep desire which prompted them to leave everything and begin a journey.  It was as though they had always been waiting for that star." - Pope Benedict XVI

The story of my life in two little sentences.  I waited the first thirty years of my existence to begin my faith journey.  God was there, poking and prodding, trying to get my attention, but even in acknowledging Him, I would find a way to turn my back and ignore Him.  God has infinitely more patience than I!

In reality, I was always waiting for God.  Since I wasn't raised in a religious household, I always wondered.  And even though I grew up in the 50's and 60's, our household did not mirror Leave It To Beaver or Father Knows Best.  It was a painful time that got more and more painful into my teens until I moved out at 19.

I read all kinds of books searching for something to explain my life, my purpose.  I gave up.  I led the lifestyle I thought I wanted, but I never felt good about it or about myself.  Ever.

When I met my husband and he introduced me to the Catholic Church, I realized that I finally found what I had been looking for over the years.  When I look back now, I can only shake my head and smile, a bit sheepishly.  Unlike Creation, I didn't respond immediately:

"When the king of heaven was born, the heavens knew that he was God because they immediately sent forth a star; the sea knew him because it allowed him to walk upon it; the earth knew him because it trembled when he died; the sun knew him because it hid the rays of its light." - St. Gregory the Great

 

 

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