"The Magi set out because of a deep desire which prompted them to leave everything and begin a journey. It was as though they had always been waiting for that star." - Pope Benedict XVI
The story of my life in two little sentences. I waited the first thirty years of my existence to begin my faith journey. God was there, poking and prodding, trying to get my attention, but even in acknowledging Him, I would find a way to turn my back and ignore Him. God has infinitely more patience than I!
In reality, I was always waiting for God. Since I wasn't raised in a religious household, I always wondered. And even though I grew up in the 50's and 60's, our household did not mirror Leave It To Beaver or Father Knows Best. It was a painful time that got more and more painful into my teens until I moved out at 19.
I read all kinds of books searching for something to explain my life, my purpose. I gave up. I led the lifestyle I thought I wanted, but I never felt good about it or about myself. Ever.
When I met my husband and he introduced me to the Catholic Church, I realized that I finally found what I had been looking for over the years. When I look back now, I can only shake my head and smile, a bit sheepishly. Unlike Creation, I didn't respond immediately:
"When the king of heaven was born, the heavens knew that he was God because they immediately sent forth a star; the sea knew him because it allowed him to walk upon it; the earth knew him because it trembled when he died; the sun knew him because it hid the rays of its light." - St. Gregory the Great