I headed out the door on a beautiful, crisp morning. I turn on my dinosaur iPod (4th gen!) to Fr. Benedict Groeschel's The Rosary is a Place and because all this is taking place on Tuesday, I listen to the Sorrowful Mysteries. It replaces the voices in my head that are racing from one conversation to another.
Not Feeling the Love
Jesus said to his disciples:
"As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept my Father's commandments
and remain in his love.
"I have told you this so that
my joy might be in you and
your joy might be complete." John 15:9-11 (NAB)
The other day I did not feel joyful or feel God's love. My head pounded and I was frustrated. So I headed out for a walk before I wrote the blog for today.
When I got home, I felt somewhat renewed in spirit, though hungry. Two eggs, corned beef hash and a tall, cold glass of Crystal Light Margarita (non-alcoholic) and I am in cholesterol and chemical heaven!
But I'm not ready to go back and play around with the new blog layout, my broken iTunes library or my need to put new screen savers on my nook. I'm not feeling the love in the tech world today!
At first, I fought off the feelings of disappointments I've experienced lately and my frustrations with my own inadequacies. A friend of mine has a niece who just lost her house in a fire. Thank God she is safe. Her material world went up in flames, but her spiritual world is being rallied with family and friends.
I'm going to allow myself this little setback. I'm going to cry about my disappointments, inadequacies and my technical shortcomings. But I'm not going to do it for long. And when I'm done, I'll return to today's scripture and let myself be reminded of Christ's love for me.