Tag: Reflection

Colposcopy and the Hippocampus, or, Your Stress is Killing You

Colposcopy and the Hippocampus, or, Your Stress is Killing You
“You need to reduce your stress,” my doctor said. She said this at the tail end of a paragraph about all the things I wasn’t supposed to do in the aftermath of my procedure. I was not supposed to exercise, not even yoga. I was not supposed to soak in a hot bath. I was... Read more »

The Inevitability of Hope and Change

The Inevitability of Hope and Change
I am standing beside my daughter’s bed, having a serious talk about school. She has no idea what her math homework is. She has no idea where her math homework is. She doesn’t pay attention in class, instead, she watches the students’ chats go by, which are silly and confusing. “One of the boys just... Read more »

Truth, Lies, and Selfies

Truth, Lies, and Selfies
Over the last three months, I’ve spent a lot of time on Snapchat. I know, right, what is it, 2012? But I have. And on my public Snapchat, Mike and kids rarely appear. On Snapchat, my life looks… kind of good. Lots of selfies (my hair has been AMAZING in quarantine, and between my eating restrictions from... Read more »
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Our 13th Glioblastoma Cancerversary

Our 13th Glioblastoma Cancerversary
Thirteen years ago, today, I was sitting in my pajamas, scrolling through my Facebook feed, reading a spectacular number of messages from friends offering me their congratulations on my engagement. Mike and I had gotten engaged the night before, on the most perfect day of my life. There had been literal fireworks, of course, but... Read more »

Singing While The World Burns

Singing While The World Burns
Last month was our twelfth wedding anniversary. I would have posted about it, but it was a difficult week. He had just finished radiation, just started new chemotherapy, and we had begun to have overnight nursing care come so I could sleep. We were approaching the last days of school. I wanted to write about... Read more »

Thinking of my Late Sister, On My Birthday

Thinking of my Late Sister, On My Birthday
There’s a numbness that feels like it isn’t numb. I will be going about my business, helping Mike with his rehab, tucking the kids into bed, taking notes on a Teams meeting with doctors or nurses wearing what I assume is a smile on my face. I will be answering emails, or figuring out what load of... Read more »
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An Unfiltered and Exhausted Reflection on My Recently Deceased Sister

An Unfiltered and Exhausted Reflection on My Recently Deceased Sister
One of the most formative moments of my life was the afternoon my older sister first tried to kill herself. I was sixteen, a college student, in the middle of a studio art class I adored. My cell phone rang and I took it into the hall. It was my younger sister, in a rush... Read more »

On Being There for Each Other

On Being There for Each Other
Four days out of the last seven, we’ve been at the pediatrician’s office first thing in the morning. It would have been more if they had walk-in hours over the weekend, but as it is I’m a horrible brute of a mother and make the kids wait until Monday if they’re not clearly grievously ill.... Read more »

An Atheist Tefilah

An Atheist Tefilah
I do not generally pray. I recite the Shabbat prayers each Friday, on holidays, Yarzheits. I say the Shehecheyanu on special occasions, I respond to news of poor health with a mi shebeirach, to deaths with a mourner’s kaddish. But when it really comes down to it, I do not pray. To me the liturgy... Read more »
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Stop Telling Me to Put On My Own Oxygen Mask First

Stop Telling Me to Put On My Own Oxygen Mask First
Disclaimer: I know this is not uplifting or positive, but sometimes I don’t feel uplifting or positive. Sometimes, this shit is hard. I would be bullshitting you if I picked and chose the pretty, uplifting stuff, and left out all the ugliness and even occasional bitterness. I appreciate how often people reach out and tell me how... Read more »