Tag: Humor

Understanding the Itchy Tween Brain

Understanding the Itchy Tween Brain
I would love to write about the big things going on over here, but there is simply too much I am not ready to share, and too much floating in a sphere of unknowns. Suffice to say that nobody, NOBODY, outside of Mike and myself know the full extent of the chaos surrounding us at... Read more »

Sleeping Beauty: the Mom Version

Sleeping Beauty: the Mom Version
This being our third round of brain cancer surgery and treatment, I thought I’d have a better handle on things. At least, I thought I knew how I WOULD handle things. It turns out that in my old age (ha ha ha) my stress reaction has changed from blind faith and delusion to narcolepsy. I nap,... Read more »

7 Practical Reactions for Women Being Legislated as Chattel

7 Practical Reactions for Women Being Legislated as Chattel
With Georgia, Alabama, Missouri, Ohio, Texas, et. al. doing the absolute most to revoke the bodily autonomy of the women who reside there, many reasonably outraged human beings are struggling to find ways to protest. Dressing up like Handmaids seems a bit pointless when it’s actually the goal of these legislators to turn women into... Read more »
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My Worst Roommate

My Worst Roommate
When I was in college, I moved into an off-campus apartment with a friend, and a friend of his. At first, it seemed like a great idea. We were all artist types, and none of us minded each others’ weirdnesses. At first. I didn’t care that my bass playing roommate slept on the couch, opting... Read more »

F*ck Cancer: A long-overdue rant

F*ck Cancer: A long-overdue rant
A disclaimer: this is a very angry rant. It’s the kind of rant I have been holding back for eleven years. It is now spurred by the things being said about John McCain’s death, directly after Aretha Franklin’s both from cancer, and both from people who have never dealt with cancer. It is not filtered... Read more »

Hot Dogs, Birthdays, and Life's Big Questions

Hot Dogs, Birthdays, and Life's Big Questions
Yesterday was my husband’s thirty-sixth birthday. He has lived a third of his life knowing he has brain cancer. At some point in all of our lives, we have an existential crisis. A moment where we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves, “I’m going to die. One day, I’m going to be... Read more »
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12 Reasons Having Kids Is The WORST (and 6 unexpected ways it's magical)

12 Reasons Having Kids Is The WORST (and 6 unexpected ways it's magical)
A list of things I hate about having children, in no particular order, and perhaps influenced by how long it’s been since I’ve made a family meal that doesn’t revolve around simple refined carbohydrates. Having to wake up and be responsible for people less functional than me before 7am every day Having to justify or... Read more »

Today's Gratitude Journal: Thank You, Feminist Porn

Today's Gratitude Journal: Thank You, Feminist Porn
The first pornographic movie I ever saw was without a doubt the worst porn I have seen to this day. It was a home-made piece of trash, featuring crying women and a cameraman who played the dual role of the only male figure in every scene, pointing his camera down at his penis and the crying girl... Read more »

3 Parenting Lessons I Learned From Phone Sex

3 Parenting Lessons I Learned From Phone Sex
Originally published on In the Powder Room. Reprinted with permission. A thousand years ago, I was a teenaged college student, trying to make ends meet in the big city. I’d heard rumors from friends in the theater department that there was a surefire way to make rent every month—and it was acting work! Thus, my brief... Read more »
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Hillary Clinton is a John Hughes Movie Villain, and That's Good

Hillary Clinton is a John Hughes Movie Villain, and That's Good
I’ve figured out why people hate Hillary Clinton so much. Hear me out on this- because I’m 99% sure this is dead right. Our country is a John Hughes movie marathon, and the left wing is like The Breakfast Club. On one hand, you have Bernie Sanders. He’s Bender in this story. He’s an outsider,... Read more »