Tag: Family

Ghosts

Ghosts
This weekend I dreamed I was talking to my dead sister. It was raining, and I had just learned I probably had COVID-19, and she and I were watching fireworks in a massive crowd, in the front row of a natural amphitheater of grassy steppes over a roiling river. The river was flooding, cutting off... Read more »

Complications of Cancer and Coronavirus

Complications of Cancer and Coronavirus
  Mike spent a few days in the hospital this week. His brain was bleeding. This isn’t exactly to say cancer treatment isn’t going well. It’s not going badly. But there have been complications. With clotting problems, and bleeding problems, and balance problems, and random fevers, and bad medication reactions, and the fact that we’re... Read more »

Thinking of my Late Sister, On My Birthday

Thinking of my Late Sister, On My Birthday
There’s a numbness that feels like it isn’t numb. I will be going about my business, helping Mike with his rehab, tucking the kids into bed, taking notes on a Teams meeting with doctors or nurses wearing what I assume is a smile on my face. I will be answering emails, or figuring out what load of... Read more »
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An Unfiltered and Exhausted Reflection on My Recently Deceased Sister

An Unfiltered and Exhausted Reflection on My Recently Deceased Sister
One of the most formative moments of my life was the afternoon my older sister first tried to kill herself. I was sixteen, a college student, in the middle of a studio art class I adored. My cell phone rang and I took it into the hall. It was my younger sister, in a rush... Read more »

No Rest for the Weary, or, Brain Surgery, Round 4, Fight!

No Rest for the Weary, or, Brain Surgery, Round 4, Fight!
This post was written very late at night on very little sleep, my apologies for any incoherence. You know what, fuck that. I’m not sorry. This post was written before I spent two days in the ER because the poor guy also has influenza A, and I’m just beyond guilt at the way I’m expressing... Read more »

What I Learned from Dropping Out of College

What I Learned from Dropping Out of College
I was fourteen when I started college. I never thought of myself as much of a prodigy, more of a smart kid with a weird string of good luck. When I enrolled in my first college semester, I was terrified and thrilled. I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, and... Read more »
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To the Man Who Threatened My Life at the Pharmacy, on the 75th Anniversary of the Liberation of Auschwitz

To the Man Who Threatened My Life at the Pharmacy, on the 75th Anniversary of the Liberation of Auschwitz
Hello, sir. You probably don’t remember me. I am probably one of a blur of vague, snowflake, millennial types. Or maybe I’m part of a blur of Jews, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just one of the many people you must encounter on your daily to-do that make you seethe with hatred and rage, I... Read more »

There is no Doctor for a Broken Heart

There is no Doctor for a Broken Heart
If you follow me on social media (Instagram and Facebook especially, although also MeWe and Twitter), you’ll know we’re having an insanely expensive January, in terms of medical costs. Honestly, all of our Januaries are expensive, our health insurance deductible resets, and we start from scratch. Usually, we hit our $5K deductible in February. This year,... Read more »

On Being There for Each Other

On Being There for Each Other
Four days out of the last seven, we’ve been at the pediatrician’s office first thing in the morning. It would have been more if they had walk-in hours over the weekend, but as it is I’m a horrible brute of a mother and make the kids wait until Monday if they’re not clearly grievously ill.... Read more »
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Sleeping Beauty: the Mom Version

Sleeping Beauty: the Mom Version
This being our third round of brain cancer surgery and treatment, I thought I’d have a better handle on things. At least, I thought I knew how I WOULD handle things. It turns out that in my old age (ha ha ha) my stress reaction has changed from blind faith and delusion to narcolepsy. I nap,... Read more »