Tag: Cancer

Way Past Time for Healthcare Reform, or, The Whole Damn System Is Broken

Way Past Time for Healthcare Reform, or, The Whole Damn System Is Broken
When Mike was first diagnosed with glioblastoma, the hardest part wasn’t watching him struggle with radiation effects, or lose his hair, or the constant battle to make every piece of information that concluded with its fatality invisible to the two of us. The hardest thing was getting him his medications. Not dealing with insurance, they... Read more »

Next Year is its own Resolution

Next Year is its own Resolution
There is a desperation that comes at the end of the year. All the things not yet accomplished, all the things to begin fresh with the new year. Lists of goals and resolutions and the abortive calculus of “better than” versus “working on” multiplied by “Things That Have Changed.” After Thanksgiving, it’s all a matter of... Read more »

Young, Naive Cancer

Young, Naive Cancer
When I was 23, my fiancé was diagnosed with glioblastoma- terminal brain cancer. Most of our friends were graduating from college, getting jobs, enjoying the freedom that comes in the years after you turn 21 and you make all your biggest mistakes, but not us. Our lives revolved around chemotherapy, radiation, clinical trials, and managing... Read more »
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F*ck Cancer: A long-overdue rant

F*ck Cancer: A long-overdue rant
A disclaimer: this is a very angry rant. It’s the kind of rant I have been holding back for eleven years. It is now spurred by the things being said about John McCain’s death, directly after Aretha Franklin’s both from cancer, and both from people who have never dealt with cancer. It is not filtered... Read more »

Hot Dogs, Birthdays, and Life's Big Questions

Hot Dogs, Birthdays, and Life's Big Questions
Yesterday was my husband’s thirty-sixth birthday. He has lived a third of his life knowing he has brain cancer. At some point in all of our lives, we have an existential crisis. A moment where we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves, “I’m going to die. One day, I’m going to be... Read more »

What Fear is Trying to Teach You in the Dark

What Fear is Trying to Teach You in the Dark
During my Complete Mental Breakdown(TM) a few years ago, I fantasized about my husband being killed. Stabbed on a dark train platform on the way home, he clutches his stomach as a small, faceless stranger disappears into the shadows. They take his computer bag, which is later found in a dumpster a block away. Or... Read more »
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Brain Diseases are Real Diseases

Brain Diseases are Real Diseases
You know how it seems like every month is something month? Like, last month was Sexual Assault Awareness Month, March was Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month? May is both Brain Tumor Awareness Month, and Mental Health Awareness Month. I’m sure this wasn’t exactly planned, but I think it’s meaningful that these two awarenesses are overlapping. Back before... Read more »

A Letter from the Future

A Letter from the Future
Dear Lea, I am writing this letter for you to read the night after Mike’s surgery and diagnosis, once you’re sure all your houseguests are asleep. You won’t be sleeping anyway. Five days ago, on the happiest day of your life, Mike asked you to marry him. Four days ago he had a seizure and... Read more »

When the Angel of Death Passes You Over

When the Angel of Death Passes You Over
On Wednesday, M had another round of MRIs, another meeting with his neuro-oncologist, another of those long days where you are constantly both questioning and trying not to question. They’re hard days. No matter how romantic we get inside the hospital, they’re hard days. In some ways, they’re harder now then they used to be.... Read more »
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Brain Cancer, Guns, and My Daily Sh*tshow

Brain Cancer, Guns, and My Daily Sh*tshow
Let’s be honest, mornings are a shitshow. Dragging yourself out of bed so that you can drag other unwilling people out of bed, knowing they will fight you on everything from putting on clean underwear and using the bathroom to putting breakfast in their mouths and their shoes on their feet and zipping their goddamn... Read more »