Category: Mental Illness

Living with Depression and Learning Self-Care

Living with Depression and Learning Self-Care
      The first time I heard the word “depression” and understood it, I understood that I was depressed. I was probably about eleven years old, and it put a name to the thing that had been plaguing me for so long it seemed my defining characteristic. I can remember people, adults, telling me... Read more »

Next Year is its own Resolution

Next Year is its own Resolution
There is a desperation that comes at the end of the year. All the things not yet accomplished, all the things to begin fresh with the new year. Lists of goals and resolutions and the abortive calculus of “better than” versus “working on” multiplied by “Things That Have Changed.” After Thanksgiving, it’s all a matter of... Read more »

When Nowhere Is Safe

When Nowhere Is Safe
When I was eight years old, I stopped sleeping. As many times as I’ve tried to figure out what made me stop, I’ve never managed to put my finger on anything specific. I spent months sneaking out of my bed at night, when the rest of my family was asleep, and going to the TV... Read more »
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It's Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, so here's an Expert!

It's Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, so here's an Expert!
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. As you know, I write a lot about mental health, but today I want to hand over this platform to an amazing mental health warrior, Sarah Fader. She’s writing here today about being a mental health advocate for your children, because early intervention is the best intervention, and an active... Read more »

Discovering My PTSD in the Dentist's Chair

Discovering My PTSD in the Dentist's Chair
Halfway through my wisdom tooth extraction, the drugs wore off. The whole thing had started normally enough. Sitting on the chair, I breathed into a mask filled with gas. I looked away from the bright lights pointed into my mouth, and counted backward as the world faded to black. I assume they set to work... Read more »

Names and Nightmares

Names and Nightmares
PTSD is a funny animal. And by “funny” I mean “not funny at all, fuck you PTSD.” Last week I posted about the reluctance of people in the lives of rape survivors to find out how closely they might be connected to an assailant. As you might expect, a few friends reached out to me... Read more »
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Reaching Back When You Reach Out

Reaching Back When You Reach Out
I write about a lot of things that people often don’t know how to talk about in person. Hell, I write about a lot of things I don’t know how to talk about in person. Part of that is the complexity of the social dynamics in a conversation (is this a person I can talk openly about... Read more »

Sit at a Typewriter and Bleed

Sit at a Typewriter and Bleed
I am writing a novel. I’m telling you this because I want the entire world to be as excited about it as I am, even though it (like pretty much everything I pour my soul into) is a heartbreaker. I am writing a novel. This is in between working three part-time jobs, taking care of... Read more »

Brain Diseases are Real Diseases

Brain Diseases are Real Diseases
You know how it seems like every month is something month? Like, last month was Sexual Assault Awareness Month, March was Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month? May is both Brain Tumor Awareness Month, and Mental Health Awareness Month. I’m sure this wasn’t exactly planned, but I think it’s meaningful that these two awarenesses are overlapping. Back before... Read more »
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Ghosts and Explorers: Living as a Glioblastoma Guinea Pig

Ghosts and Explorers: Living as a Glioblastoma Guinea Pig
Most days, I am very good with fear. I let it roll off of me like sweat, like the hairs that drop from my head seemingly all the time. For a moment I shiver, and it’s it the past. Most days, I am not overwhelmed by the mundanity of it. Six weeks ago, M’s seizures ramped... Read more »