Category: Happiness

The Inevitability of Hope and Change

The Inevitability of Hope and Change
I am standing beside my daughter’s bed, having a serious talk about school. She has no idea what her math homework is. She has no idea where her math homework is. She doesn’t pay attention in class, instead, she watches the students’ chats go by, which are silly and confusing. “One of the boys just... Read more »

Truth, Lies, and Selfies

Truth, Lies, and Selfies
Over the last three months, I’ve spent a lot of time on Snapchat. I know, right, what is it, 2012? But I have. And on my public Snapchat, Mike and kids rarely appear. On Snapchat, my life looks… kind of good. Lots of selfies (my hair has been AMAZING in quarantine, and between my eating restrictions from... Read more »

Our 13th Glioblastoma Cancerversary

Our 13th Glioblastoma Cancerversary
Thirteen years ago, today, I was sitting in my pajamas, scrolling through my Facebook feed, reading a spectacular number of messages from friends offering me their congratulations on my engagement. Mike and I had gotten engaged the night before, on the most perfect day of my life. There had been literal fireworks, of course, but... Read more »
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Our Community is Our Miracle

Our Community is Our Miracle
This picture contains so many miracles. See, all this week, Rivka has been talking about spinning her dreidel and getting a nun, which is what she wants. If you know the rules to the game, you DON’T want a nun, you want a gimmel, or a hey. But Rivka wanted a nun, because nun stands... Read more »

On Being There for Each Other

On Being There for Each Other
Four days out of the last seven, we’ve been at the pediatrician’s office first thing in the morning. It would have been more if they had walk-in hours over the weekend, but as it is I’m a horrible brute of a mother and make the kids wait until Monday if they’re not clearly grievously ill.... Read more »

An Atheist Tefilah

An Atheist Tefilah
I do not generally pray. I recite the Shabbat prayers each Friday, on holidays, Yarzheits. I say the Shehecheyanu on special occasions, I respond to news of poor health with a mi shebeirach, to deaths with a mourner’s kaddish. But when it really comes down to it, I do not pray. To me the liturgy... Read more »
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A Conversation with my Suicidal Teenaged Self

A Conversation with my Suicidal Teenaged Self
It’s National Suicide Prevention Week. If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.     When I was fourteen, I tried to end my life. I had been deeply depressed for a long, long time. I felt nobody understood, and... Read more »

The Joys of Being a Big Kid Mom

The Joys of Being a Big Kid Mom
Last night, I held my six-year-old as long as she let me. Today, she is seven years old. I know I’m supposed to feel bittersweet or nostalgic about this, about all the birthdays my children will only ever have one time, but I don’t. Truth be told, I have been waiting for this day to come for years. There... Read more »

Living with Depression and Learning Self-Care

Living with Depression and Learning Self-Care
      The first time I heard the word “depression” and understood it, I understood that I was depressed. I was probably about eleven years old, and it put a name to the thing that had been plaguing me for so long it seemed my defining characteristic. I can remember people, adults, telling me... Read more »
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Next Year is its own Resolution

Next Year is its own Resolution
There is a desperation that comes at the end of the year. All the things not yet accomplished, all the things to begin fresh with the new year. Lists of goals and resolutions and the abortive calculus of “better than” versus “working on” multiplied by “Things That Have Changed.” After Thanksgiving, it’s all a matter of... Read more »