I write about the idea of "Happily Ever After" a lot. Really, a ton. I write about seeing every day as a beautiful part of the love story of your life. I write about letting go of "forever" and living for the moment, even the shitty ones.
Considering that I don't really believe in "Happily Ever After," that I live a life that is at odds with the idea of a human eternity, there has been a rather remarkable development in my life over the past year.
I've started officiating weddings.
Over the summer, I officiated the wedding of my little sister, astoundingly, to a friend of mine from seventh grade.
In the fall I officiated the wedding of a dear friend before she and her family moved across the country.
And last weekend I officiated the wedding of my very best friend.
When I say things like, "very best friend," I mean that I've known one of the brides since we were in kindergarten. I mean that when I was lonely and had almost no friends, she befriended me. I mean that when she moved away the next year, we wrote each other letters, talked on the phone, went on overnight visits to each others' houses. Never missed a birthday party.
It's a humbling thing to be asked by people you love to be such an integral part of their wedding day.
It's a humbling thing to be so loved that people can overlook your bumbling awkwardness, and the fact that 30% of what you write makes people cry and another 30% makes them mad.
It's humbling, because so much of what I write is about love, and about how all-encompassing love can and probably should be.
And it's weird, because nobody wants my love story. Friends and acquaintances sometimes tell me they envy me and M's relationship, but they never envy our circumstances, and the thing is that the two are nearly one and the same. Your circumstances dictate so much of how you relate to the world. For me and M, our circumstances have been dire since the day after we got engaged. We have been balancing on the line between bliss and tragedy, between having everything and having absolutely nothing at all, and you cannot help but to both cling to and appreciate the things that matter.
I think most of life is really like that. With people constantly on the verge of disaster, and only half willing to admit to themselves how quickly things can go wrong.
What it comes down to is this, I love romance. I love living in my romance, as terrifying as it often is. I love being invited into the sphere of other romances. I love being given the opportunity to tell the world about the amazing and beautiful and remarkable people in my life, to tell the world why they deserve all of the joy and none of the tragedy, and to usher them into a future where no matter what disasters befall them, they will have something that matters, to both cling to and take comfort in.
Love is gritty, and sometimes ugly, and it hurts. It hurts to know how wrong life can go, and that either you will someday find yourself suffering or watching the most important person in your life suffer. But all of that pain is made better, so much better, when you can be there for each other, together.
Mazel tov, my dear friends. May you live boring, sweet, simple lives, free of catastrophe. May all your suffering be already behind you.
And to you, my lovely readers, a lifetime of happiness as well.
Read more about my star crossed love here: How Very Special Are We
Read my most recent post here: When the Angel of Death Passes You Over
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