Dear Crazy Ass Religious People:
Yesterday, I released a song called Praying to a God I Don't Believe In. I wrote a song about my personal beliefs about God, based on my own experiences, and I drew a little picture to serve as the cover art that would illustrate my point. The track, produced by Dr. Dexter and comprised of samples of music from classic piano player Lee Musiker, is part of a collaboration I am doing with a project called "Gone But Not // Duality." For me, the idea of God I was raised with is something that is "#GoneButNot" but it's something I never spoke about until now. My song is honest and the story I told is deeply personal. In an editorial for AllHipHop.com, I explained the meaning behind my song. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. But it was.
Here is an excerpt from one of the emails I got:
"You are stupid and everything you said is wrong. You are saying there is no God, talking about the one person who can take your life out of your body in a second. He is real and you need to repent or you're going straight to hell. You are being such a bitch, talking bad about God like that."
Do I even need to explain what's stupid about that? Most of the more judgey and hypocritical emails and comments were like this, using profanity to tell me how stupid I am because the MAN (God is specifically male to all of these people) in the sky can kill me at any moment. I was told that if God did not save me when I was being molested as a kid then clearly I was worshipping the wrong God. I was told that I am a discredit to Black People for even releasing Praying to a God I Don't Believe In during Black History Month.
The fact that believers think its ok to invalidate someone else's personal feelings and experiences in order to uphold theirs is the reason why so many people get turned away from religion. Who are you to tell people they aren't allowed to question something so important? I'm just gonna put it out there... Y'all super religious mofos crazy as hell. If you are going around trying to force your beliefs on other people, something is wrong with you. You crazy. If you need everybody else to share your beliefs in order for you to have them, then it seems to me that your beliefs aren't very secure at all, are they? Y'all asses are crazy.
You picked the wrong one to try to bully. Because I'm crazy as hell, too.
Whenever someone questions their belief in God, overly religious folks act like they have just came out as devil worshippers. As if potentially being atheist or agnostic puts you on the fast track to being a bad person. And personally, I don't consider myself to be atheist or agnostic. I consider myself to be Nikki Lynette.
At no point in Praying to a God I Don't Believe In did I ever say "Hey everybody who believes in God... Cut that shit out."
At no point did I say "God is bad and wrong and if you believe in God then you should feel bad... and also wrong."
At no point did I say "Let's all go burn our bibles and be atheists!"
At no point did I say anything bad about anyone else's views, but the simple fact that I questioned mine automatically makes what I have to say invalid to you crazy ass, overzealous religious people. Wanna know how I know you're crazy? Because there were actually sane religious people who reached out and said stuff like "I am a person of faith, but I appreciate your willingness to share this and open up dialogue about it. Can we discuss it?" In fact, a friend of mine who recently won a huge Christian Music award is the person who encouraged me to go ahead and put my song out! You crazy religious folks heard my song and created a story about what it meant. I'm not one to roll over and let folks put words in my mouth. I SAID WHAT I SAID.
I actually said that Christianity was forced on Blacks during slavery.
I actually said that I don't understand, if God is real, why he lets bad things happen to innocent people.
I actually said I am looking for a sign that God is real... I just ain't found one yet.
Now, before you hop in my comments or Twitter mentions saying "How can you say you have no signs that God is real! You are living and breathing aren't you," let me say this. Technically, my mom is the reason I'm alive, making her the closest thing to God that I will ever know. Women give life everyday, but you want me to give all honor and glory to a dude in the sky who I've never met personally? It's kinda like asking me to love and honor a daddy who was never there but always sent child support. Nah... I'm good.
The whole "Gone But Not // Duality" project, which is dropping in March, is being produced by Ira Antelis, in conjuntion with LPZ Studios. They're giving artists hella freedom and support to talk about whatever they want on it. It's gonna feature music from Saba, Joey Purp, and other Save Money members. Be on the look out for it.
Yes, I wrote a song questioning my belief in God. In an attempt to be as socially responsible as possible, I wrote an entire article about my song and had it published on a major music site. I'm not explaining myself any further. At the end of the day, nobody should ever be villified for having beliefs that differ from yours. Nobody should be called names and spoken down to just because they question their faith, trying to use fear tactics to scare them into sharing your opinions about God. And if you think that type of stuff is ok to do, then you're the evil one. Amen.