Be a Big Mouth: How to improve your life by talking sh*t

Be a Big Mouth: How to improve your life by talking sh*t

I consider myself to be a pretty talented person. I sing & rap, produce my own music, and write songs for a living. I also draw, paint, sculpt, cook, and I can groom some dreadlocks like nobody's business. However, there is one ability I have that pulls it all together, signifies my outlook on life, and really represents what I am about. I am exceptionally talented at talking shit.

Most people consider me to be mouthy, or at the very least a bit of a smartypants. I can not disagree with the smartness of my pants. But I can say that, in an era where everyone has an opinion or an agenda and they fire it at you with the force of a cannonball, the ability to always get a word in edgewise comes in handy. I can have a civilized, adult conversation anytime... but nobody is gonna talk me down. I am not a pushover.

I'm sure there are people who wonder why the hell I consider being a big mouth to be a good thing. I don't understand why the hell anybody would wanna be meek and timid. For the most part, I'm a super chill girl who likes to laugh and gets along with people easily. My ability to be outspoken conveys confidence, I'm always expressed, I'm never overlooked and if someone tries to come at me, there will be hell to pay. On the contrary, meek people weird me out. I don't understand why anybody would wanna be a pushover, the type of person who finds their self in uncomfortable situations without ever speaking up.

I think everyone could benefit from knowing how to mouth off. Not in a cunty way, but in a "standing up for yourself" way. Don't be the kind of person who takes shit, be the person who gives people hell for ever even thinking that you would take shit.

Maybe it's a result of being in the music biz, but I'm super vigilant about who I let into my inner circle. Energy vampires are real! For example: There is a dude who I met under the auspices of doing business, and when he tried to turn it into something more I declined. When he insisted, I told him off and blocked him. He recently contacted me from a new number, apologizing for being a thirsty ass lame, and said he really does want to do business. I said "Cool." Then he suddenly asked why I shot down his advances the year prior. This is the conversation that followed:

That might seem harsh, but when I heard from him again a few days later he was strictly business. And that's how it was supposed to be all along! Why is it my responsibility to be all nicey-nicey when other people have no problem committing random acts of assholery?

Don't get me wrong, me being unafraid to speak up hasn't always been well received. Just last week, after a senator tweeted a comment about the Charleston shooter that I found to be tone deaf, I spoke up. And she promptly blocked me, without even replying. So I was like "Oh, like that!??" And I did what any outspoken individual would do... I tweeted about it.


Maybe the senator didn't care about what I had to say, but the hundreds and hundreds of people who Retweeted it sure did. And that is one of the main points I am trying to make about the significance of knowing how to talk shit. Having the ability to speak up is all about owning your voice, and conveying your message with confidence and certainty. I was kinda quiet in social settings as a kid, I even got bullied a few times. Then one day, I stood up for myself, and all the fucks I gave just drifted away into the ether, never to be seen or heard from again. So now, when someone comes at me in a manner that I consider inappropriate, I can clap back without it even stirring my emotions.

Now, before you go out into the world and start cussing everybody out and letting your boss know what a little bitch he is, please remember that the other half of sounding off is relevancy and tact. If all you do is bitch and rant, nobody will listen to you or care what you have to say. There is a time and place for talking shit, and you must use discernment before you turn up on somebody. It's not about being aggressive or bullish, it's about being expressed, setting boundaries, and making sure you are treated with the same consideration you give others. And while folks who can't stand individuals with strong personalities might shy away from you when you stop being a pushover, that will help create space for people who value authenticity and love you for the bold, dignified shit talker that you are :o)

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