The Ten Sexting Commandments

A few years back, this cute dude I knew asked me to send him a nude. Something told me not to trust his ass. So when I got home I took a screengrab of a porno starring a post-op transsexual showing off his/her brand new functional vag by playing with a cucumber. I sent it to the dude and said "Yeah, look how I get down" or some silly shit like that and he bought it (despite the fact that the person had slightly darker skin than I do.) Sure enough, a couple weeks later some folks came back and told me that the dude was bragging about the nude I sent him, showing it to everybody. So I did what any rational girl would do... I went back to the same porno I got the first pic from and sent him another one.

Leaked nudes are a huge topic of discussion these days. The amount of recent celebrity nudes that are hitting the internet is so numerous that I am almost starting to wonder if this is truly an invasion of privacy or a really successful publicity stunt. The first round of celebrity nudes that got leaked seemed like it was truly an attack on famous women's bodies. But umm... the latest ones... I dunno y'all. *insert side-eye here*

This whole celebrity nudes leak thing has made me come to the realization that nobody has taken on the task of spreading the gospel about the proper way to sext. I now feel that it is my calling to spread the good word. Afterall, none of my nudes have ever been leaked... Just kidding, I've never sent any nudes..OR HAVE I? You'll never know if my bare cooter is floating around the interwebs or not because I follow the Ten Sexting Commandments. Ye thou I walk through the valley of shady hackers and bitter ex's, I shall fear no evil, for thy haveth the list of ten things not to do if you don't wanna get put out there. Amen.

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