Last night, during the second presidential debate, Mitt Romney said something that really hit home with many of the debate's viewers. When asked if he supports equal pay for women, he sort of threw a curve ball. He stated that when he was first assembling his cabinet in 2002, he had been so upset by the lack of female candidates that he sent women’s groups out to find some highly qualified ones. Here's what he said:
And I went to my staff, and I said, "How come all the people for these jobs are all men?" They said "Well, these are the people that have the qualifications." And I said, "Well, gosh, can't we find some women that are also qualified?"
And so we took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified to become members of our cabinet.
I went to a number of women's groups and said, "Can you help us find folks," and they brought us whole binders full of women.
Binders full of women. I mean... how pimpy is that? As an urban youth of America (I think urban means "non-white,") it is important for me to feel that my president is cool enough for me to wear his face on a t-shirt, or at the very least to throw my thong at him when he's standing onstage. I need a president with Rockstar Swag. All this time I was looking at Romney like this stiff, out of touch, euthanize-your-puppy type of guy, when he was actually out here swagging on us all along.
All the evidence points to Mitt being a total chick magnet. Why else would Romney, who has been a savvy businessman for 25 years, not know ANY qualified ladies to join his team? That has to make you wonder what sort of chicks he had been hanging out with all those years! It takes balls the size of boulders to admit that you take the "bros before hoes" code so seriously that you don't know any credible women personally. Man... those Mormons really know how to have a good time, huh?
What's even more interesting is the fact that, according to recent reports on sites such as Mediaite.com, Romney's recollection of how he got his chick-portfolio together wasn't even true! Tommy Christopher wrote:
As horrible as that story is in responding to a question about pay equity, it turns out it isn’t even true. Romney says he “went to a number of women’s groups and said, ‘Can you help us find folks,’” but what actually happened was that a number of women’s groups got together, Voltron-style, to form the Massachusetts Government Appointments Project (or MassGAP) to pressure governors to appoint more women." You should check out that story when you have a moment, it will totally make you be like "Whaaaaaaat? That's not what Mitty told me!"
At no point in the presidential debate did Mitt Romney actually say "I support equal pay for women." He said a lot of other stuff. But not that.
And as if all the talk about his Binder Swag wasn't enough, at the presidential debate Romney also spoke up about baby mommas and the role that their singleness plays in gun violence. In reply to a question about gun control, here's what he had to say:
We need moms and dads helping to raise kids. Whenever possible, the benefit of two parents in the home... and that’s not always possible. [There are] a lot of great single moms, single dads. But gosh, [we need] to tell our kids that before they have babies, they ought to think about getting married to someone. That’s a great idea. Because if it’s a two-parent family, the prospect of living in poverty goes down dramatically. The opportunitites that the child will be able to achieve increase dramatically. So we can make changes to the way our culture works to help bring people away from violence and give them opportunity [in order] to bring them in the American system.
Is Mitt Romney saying the solution to ending gun violence is to marry the person who knocks you up? That sounds great. I'm not sure that it makes sense for the 636,770 women who are being abused by their partners every year. Or for mothers who are married but have spouses who are deployed or incarcerated. Or for women who got preggers by a loser.
So, let's see here... he puts bros before hoes, he keeps a little black book of women on deck, and he's stingy with money. Hmmm... ladies, is it just me or does Mitt totally sound like the kind of guy we've all dated before? And since EVERYONE KNOWS that all women are instinctively attracted to
assholes bad boys, then doesn't that mean that all chicks of legal voting age should be supporting Mitt Romney? Only time will tell. And also... this might be a good time to go invest in some Pro-Binder stock. I'm just saying.